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Song Parodies -> "It's Not War, It's A Kinetic Military Action"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Mary Poppins Soundtrack

Parody Song Title:

"It's Not War, It's A Kinetic Military Action"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

After the President gives his televised address about Libya tonight, we'll finally have some clarity! My purpose here is NOT to judge what is right or wrong, and NOT to question the motives and effectiveness of this or any previous President. I AM taking issue with the fact that the "mission" objectives seem to change daily, the number of conflicting statements from too many "authorities", and the constantly-changing nomenclature for the whole mess. As William Tecumseh Sherman may have said today..."Kinetic Military Action is hell!".

It's not war, it's a "kinetic military action",
Words that they chose carefully to not offend each faction.
Now it is a phrase for which they'd love to get retraction.
It's not war, it's a "kinetic military action".

Hum fiddle diddle diddle - words that amaze!
Hum fiddle diddle diddle - words full of haze!
Hum fiddle diddle diddle - oh what a phrase!
Hum fiddle diddle diddle - see how it plays!

Now we're involved in Libya but - just why no one can say.
The reason for our presence changes sev'ral times a day.
We're protecting civilians? No, Kaddafi must be gone!
Here comes "news-speak" - new words they seek - for what is going on. (So...)

It's not war, it's now called a "time-scope-limited action".
Such a term is bound to give the plan a lot of traction.
Will it hurt Kaddafi? Maybe just a little fraction.
It's not war, it's now called a "time-scope-limited action".

Hum fiddle faddle faddle - who's gonna speak?
Hum fiddle faddle faddle - policy geek?
Hum fiddle faddle faddle - how 'bout a peek?
Hum fiddle faddle faddle - call Wiki-leak!

Who's speaking for the country? Well, it's difficult to see.
Is it Obama, Carney, the U.N. , or Hillary?
It's not a matter if the mission's the right or wrong choice.
We'll muddle through when this whole crew learns to speak with one voice! (Oh...)

Not war, we must stop "humanitarian disaster",
Unlike in Iran, this time we'll use our mega-blaster!
If we're not the world's police, we'll be its couns'ling pastor.
Not war, we must stop "humanitarian disaster"!

Hey diddle diddle diddle - Mideast surprise!
Cat and the fiddle fiddle - No more Peace Prize!

Now we could call it a "multi-lateral circumscribed surgical incursion", an "operationally-militarized contingenization", or just a "defensive assertive operation", but that's terribly hard to say, isn't it?

So now the time has come to hand the ball off to the French,
To pull out, to fall back, take stock, regroup, and to retrench.
And this time there are benefits that make the whole thing sweet.

For example: (Yes?) This time, since it's not Reagan or the Bushes, there're no protests in the streets! (NO BLOOD FOR OIL!! NO BLOOD FOR OIL!!) We'll never turn our backs on our Chosen! (Sooo...)

What a web of words! It would do credit to a spider.
Just who are the rebels? Are some members of "Al-Kyder"?
'Though there was much wisdom to prevent a war that's wider,
Some folks are nostalgic for the ways of The Decider!

Don't call this a parody! You've just read a "lyric-formulated humor-infused multi-faceted satiric projection of enhanced exaggeration".

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

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Barry J. Mitchel - March 28, 2011 - Report this comment
Wow, OMR! You clearly have a super grasp of facile lisping text in mauling doses. This blows away my meager offering on the same topic today. 5s
Phil Alexander - March 28, 2011 - Report this comment
:-D Beautifully, simply beautifully, sums up the confused idiocy of it all.
AFW - March 28, 2011 - Report this comment
You've chosen the perfect song for a perfect spoof...
Wild Child JIN - March 28, 2011 - Report this comment
You wrote a mouthful of marvelous words in this parody! 555! :-D Great Job OMR! ;-)
John Barry - March 28, 2011 - Report this comment
Since the operation appears to be named either for a porn star or a stripper, how about: SuperGalWillShagOStripItSexyBallsorPoleShtik
Old Man Ribber - March 28, 2011 - Report this comment
Humble thanks to all of you for your kind and often undeserved support. ;D

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