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Song Parodies -> "Stew My Kitty"

Original Song Title:

"Do-Wah-Diddy"

Original Performer:

Manfred Mann

Parody Song Title:

"Stew My Kitty"

Parody Written by:

Stan Hall

The Lyrics

While revisiting yesterday some P. G. Wodeouse delightful "Bertie Wooster" stories I re-encountered among Bertie's pals one Potter-Pirbright, nicknamed "Catsmeat." Catsmeat, eh? Hmmmm ... :-)
"Stew My Kitty"

Here I am, in the kitchen, zip to eat,
thinkin’ “Stew my kitty? That’s a scummy thing to do!”
Grapplin’ with hunger, tho' ... I'd really like some meat,
thinkin’ “Stew my kitty? I’m so hungry … Kit, adieu!”
She looks good! (Looks good!)
She’ll cook good! (Cook good!)
She looks good! She’ll cook good! Yes, I guess that’s what I’ll do.

Before she knows it Kitty’s halfway fricasseed
thinkin’ “Whew! This kitty’s pretty glum! I’ll be stew!”
I add veggies and a shake of fennel seed
thinkin’ “Ooh, I think I should put dumplings in it, too!
And what’s more, (What’s more)
a wee pour ( wee pour)
And what’s more, a wee pour of well-aged Château Latour.”

Whoa-oh-oh, with mews she is callin’ on Jove,
Yes she is, and so I quickly turn the burner heat up on the stove.

My pretty pet, her neck I’ve got to wring today
thinkin’ ‘Oooh, it’s sh*tty, Kitty’s gonna be my stew.
’S weird and crappy that her fate’s worked out this way”;
thinkin’, too, “Ah! This is pretty dumb! Skin her , too.
’Cause I’m sure (I’m sure)
her fine (her fine)
’Cause I’m sure her fine hide I’ll want to use some time.”

So-oh-oh, with spoon I’m not stallin’ to move
Siamese from pot to cutting board and all her hide remove.

I’ll wear the leather from the kitty I'll have flayed
thinkin’ “Shoes from Kitty … least that’s somethin’ I'll use.”
A tearful chappie, still, how proudly I'll parade
thinkin’ “You, dear kitty, hadn’t one use but two –
My poor (My poor)
feline, (feline)
My poor feline, 'tis grand I'll use you double-time.”

Whoa-oh-oh
“Stew my kitty? It’s a scummy thing to do!”
“Stew my kitty? But I’m hungry … Kit, adieu!”
“Stew my kitty? She’ll be yummy! Slippers, too!”
© Stan Hall ... I'm quite certain Bertie's Aunt Agatha, none too keen on Catsmeat himself, would nonetheless view with some disapprobation what his name has here inspired. :-)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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McKludge - February 21, 2008 - Report this comment
All cats deserve such a fate :-)
And my security code? HE8 as in "He Ate"
AFW - February 21, 2008 - Report this comment
I cat stand cats....good job, here's vomiting up three 5's
alvin - February 21, 2008 - Report this comment
my favorite of the day...deliciously goofy...this will be in my head all day
unCollaredKitten - February 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Lord Hall . . . Careful Sir ! you're descending to the ranks of Pirate Jack . . with your feline Meat!!
John Barry - February 21, 2008 - Report this comment
COL (caterwauling out loud)
Red Ant - February 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Cats... the other other white meat. Great subs throughout.
Phil Alexander - February 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Reminds me of this one: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/bachmanturneroverdrive2.shtml (which is quite a compliment: it's one of my favourites on amiright)
Stan - February 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, everyone. And Phil, thanks fro the pointer to the Bachman Turner Overdrive parody ... that was a grin, despite that I once lost a much-loved pet of my own to .... er, vehicular overdrive.

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