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Song Parodies -> "Shop to Your Kind of Muzak"

Original Song Title:

"Make Your Own Kind of Music"

Original Performer:

Mama Cass Elliot

Parody Song Title:

"Shop to Your Kind of Muzak"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

As you scurry through the mall for those last minute gifts, you may, if you listen closely, notice some faint sounds of instrumental music. It is designed, allegedly, to stimulate shopping and buying. Most people are only scarcely aware that it exists. I latch onto music and can't not hear it. Same goes for vocal music played in stores. I've actually learned some good songs from such sources. Folks do look at me funny when I position myself under the speakers and grab a coupon from the shelf to note down some lyrics I can research later. It's also not unknown for me to sing along. At times though, I think I'm the only one there who is actually listening. Nice of them to do this just for me.
Nobody can tell you, the name of the tune that's playing
The purpose--to sell you
Cause they think you'll spend
If they just set the mood

And so you shop to their chosen Muzak
Science selects all the songs
Fake, some say is this Muzak
But most folks aren't aware of just what's going on

Sometimes I feel lonely
The only one here who hears it
With melodies only
To play :"Name thet Tune" is the hardest thing to do

Each day they play one more round of Muzak
Unheard subliminal songs
When I sing to the Muzak
Everyone stares like I've done something wrong

So, if you don't quite understand,
And if you don't really hear it
Well, that's the way it's planned

Ceilings go on playing Muzak
Research determines the song
I'll put words to the Muzkk
So that everyone now can all sing along

Speakers are still full of Muzak
Droning a strange wordless song
(Fade out)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   13
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User Comments

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Calvin & Hobbes 03/11/1992 - December 19, 2022 - Report this comment
"Fortunately, I've found some protest music for TODAY'S youth! This stuff really offends Mom and Dad!"
"Easy-Listening Muzak?"
"I play it real quiet, too."
Patrick - December 21, 2022 - Report this comment
Some shopping malls used to clear off carloads of teenagers from their parking lotsby playing classical music over their loudspeakers. I wonder, though, how "Ride of the Valkyries" might work.

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