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Song Parodies -> "Ringtones"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Lorne Greene

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I'd ordered the fam'ly cell phone plan
Cuz' I'm a real good fam'ly man
Least in my mind, that's how I was bred
And I've been that way, since the day I wed
That was 17 years ago, last spring
The "Homey click" has been my thing..till Ringtones


Our daughter, Cheryl, was the first to cast
A stone that avalanched real fast
Then, Michael, he's the eldest son
Jumped in and would not be outdone
Grew day after day, before it was known
Had to get, from the bank, a loan..for Ringtones


Up to my nose, big bills I pressed
Pages galore of cell incest
Seems every band and singing star
My young had ordered from afar
And, always, their excuse would be lame,
Impulses spurred the costly game..of Ringtones


I felt some high blood pressure gain
And hoped my heart could stand the strain
As I read on, flung pages down
A growl accompanied my frown
Our six year old son, Emery Pete
In kindergarten, down the street...had Ringtones


My reaction speed was next to none
Quick-drew my cell just like a gun
Voice baited to blast, and red of face
I dialed that service in great haste
Only reached their automated store
I called that big whore..for Ringtones


Thought now is not a fitting time
To play their silly numbers slime
I slowly lowered the phone, and then
Entertained thoughts that would get me penned
Sat down to rest weak legs of wood
Came up with an action to take, I should,..for Ringtones


I confiscated the kid's cell phones
Made an eight hour CD of all their ringtones
Had 'em sit in a room, one saturday
While huge loudspeakers, blasted away
Neighbors gawked, made the whole house shake
When their ears fell off..they had all they could take..of Ringtones


The story spread online, somehow
Lots of parents use my system, now
Been two years since that fateful day
No more ringtone bills, do I have to pay
It really worked, that brainwash mode
Now, it's plain tones, no more ringtones Ringtones


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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

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MadameDeTweet - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Great Song about dear LorenGreen, BO Nanza, Sir L'AIR ! !
AFW - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Thank you, LCC..appreciate vote and comment
Old Man Ribber - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Can you hear me now? Redialing 5-5-5...with you I have that number on speed dial. ;D
Fiddlegirl - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
It takes a mighty big man to stand up to Ringtones... :D (ditto OMR's comment about the 555 speed dial!)
Christie Marie M - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
This spaghetti western beat had quite a "ring" to it, if I do say so myself! Downloading 555 free ringtones in your cell, no charge!
Tommy Turtle - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Never could understand paying money to have my phone ring -- they've always rung for free, and still do. ... Serious tip: Some contain malicious software. Don't let the kids download *any*. Download these Fives, instead.

Follow-up idea: Singer gets in a gun battle and shoots all the idiots whose goofy ringtones go off in movie theaters, stores, malls, offices, etc. 555 in advance if you do it!
AFW - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, OMR, Fg, Christie, and TT...and good idea, thanks, TT..
Phil Nelson - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
I once wrote one on ringtones, and this was excellent too
AFW - February 06, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comment, Phil...couldn't find yours in "Search"...what's the web address, where I can check it out?
Timmy1k - February 06, 2010 - Report this comment
A better story than the original and great solution for the ringtone problem
AFW - February 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks. Timmy...appreciate v&c
blackjack21 - February 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Great storytelling, but now I have this ringing in my ears. 555
2Eagle - February 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Oh, go outside and get some fresh air - 5's for Ringo - Ringtone. White men can't rap. Now see what you can do with "Convoy".
AFW - February 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, bj21, and 2Eagle....I remember that old CB radio talk-song...but, I'll have to ponder on it
Phil Nelson - February 07, 2010 - Report this comment
It probably didn't come up because I wrote it as two words. Here's the web address
AFW - February 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Oh, you covered a different song...I was looking under "Ringo"....good job, tho' you also, expressed the frustration and monotony, very well...if not the expense of ringtones.....I voted..555..but I see you had the "No comments" box checked...
Phil Nelson - February 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Yeah I wrote it a long time ago and at first I didn't accept comments
Phil Nelson - February 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks for the vote and comment
LadyRingGo - February 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Sir L'AIR de Farce, I'm surprised that none of the `Am-I-Righteous Bros' ever mentioned the death of ~ PARNELL~ROBERTS~ aka Adam Cartright ? ! ?!
AFW - February 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Maybe they just didn't give A-dam.....low humor, I know...but seriously, when did he die?

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