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Song Parodies -> "Blond Tall Janice"

Original Song Title:

"Long Tall Sally"

Original Performer:

Little Richard

Parody Song Title:

"Blond Tall Janice"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I was originally going to do a "Shat" parody of this song. That's where you write the song lyrics out as sung in the awkward style of William Shatner. The key to a Shat parody is to find a song that will be completely butchered by his delivery -- like the OS. But then my brain instantly conjured up Star trek themed subs; so I went with that ........... The key to this is understanding that the show was trying to develop a romance between Kirk and Ensign Janice Rand. But then the actress playing Rand got busted for drugs, so they had to drop the whole thing in midstream like a hot potato
Gonna tell Doc McCoy .. about Yeoman Rand
She temptin' Captain Jimmy and it gettin' out of hand
Oh Bonesie ... Yeah, Bonesie .... Wuuuu-Hura
Trekkin' some stars tonight

Well blond tall Janice, she ... look like Swede
Ain't got ... anything Hiraku Sulu need
Oh, Chekhov ... Yeah, Chekhov ... Wuuuu-Hura
Trekking some stars tonight

Well I saw Yeoman Rand with short, bald Scotty
They saw Nurse Chapel coming, now they doin' somethin' naughty
Oh Scotty ... Yeah, Scotty ..... Wuuuuu-Hura
Trekkin some stars tonight

Well, blond tall Janice, she .. smoke some weed
Can't give ... anything that Captain Jim need
Oh Randie ... Yeah, Randie .. Uuuuu-Hura
Dropping some plots tonight

Well I saw Yeoman Rand with egg-headed Spockie
She broke down all his logic now he about to run amokie
Oh baby ... yeah baby .... Woooo baby
Having some Pon Farr* tonight

Oh, we gonna have some fun tonight
Do the Pon Farr right
Trek some stars tonight
Everything's all right
Trek some stars, trek some stars tonight

(I thought I would give "Star Trek: TNG" the same treatment, but couldn't get it to work; still in all, here's one good stanza that I managed to come up with)

Gonna tell all the Borg, about Deanna Troi
They say she not good looking but she spread a lot of joy
Oh Data ... Yeah data ..... Wo-o-o-o-orf, Data
Trekking some stars tonight
*Vulcan mating ritual where normal Vulcan restraints break down ...... Never watched enuff TNG to get a feel for it; whereas I saw all of the Original Star Trek episodes many times

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

CML - June 13, 2019 - Report this comment
For the record she was not Ensign Rand, but Yeoman Rand. Same difference -- they are both entry level positions for an officer

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