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Song Parodies -> "Sukiyaki: the REAL Translation"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Kyu Sakamoto

Parody Song Title:

"Sukiyaki: the REAL Translation"

The Lyrics

Kyu Sakamoto was a successful Japanese pop singer. In the Western world, he was a One Hit Wonder with a song released in the West in 1963 under the title SUKIYAKI (a beef stew which has nothing to do with the song, originally and less memorably titled UE O MUITE ARUKO). For over 53 years, Americans have unwittingly listened to the all-Japanese lyrics and taken the record company at their word that the song was about a man hiding his tears as he pines for a lost love. Until we finally got a more reliable translation!
We sank your battleships and
Blew up your airplanes too.
We killed your troops on a warm, peaceful Sunday morning.
We invaded all
East Asia too,
And did it all without a warning!

We enslaved those Chinese women,
Turned them into “comfort girls”.
We marched your troops sixty miles with no food or water.
We laughed while they died.
If they dropped aside,
We’d whip out our swords and do more slaughter.

We just raped and pillaged from Rangoon to Wake;
Roosevelt's vow of vengeance was not a mistake!

We invented suicide bombers
And the human wave attack.
We dug in deep, vowed to die for our Emperor's glory,
Issued women pikes,
Satchel bombs to tykes.
You knew the end would be more than gory!

Leave our land of birth
Nothing but scorched earth
But Li'l Boy and Fat Man changed the story!

Then when we surrendered, our country you rebuilt.
But instead of thanks, we heaped on you tons of guilt!

We will outsell your autos,
TV sets and cameras, too.
Your unions rail at your swelled unemployment ranks.
Just so you know,
As you watch your money go,
We're laughing all the way to the banks!

[Whistling to fade out]

Just for the record, I'm originally from the Philippines and my parents, most of my older siblings, and extended family lived through the Japanese invasion in World War II. For the rest of her life, my mother, who was otherwise one of the most docile and unassertive women who ever walked the Earth, had a fear and suspicion of anything Japanese in much the same way most Holocaust survivors had a lifelong fear and suspicion of anything German. This one's for you, Mom! Posted December 7, 2016, the 75th Anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor and the Philippines.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

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 5   8

User Comments

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Rob Arndt - December 08, 2016 - Report this comment
Mostly correct except that the Japanese did not invent suicide bombers nor human wave attacks. Suicide attacks or martyrdom has been around since the beginning of warfare but became popular during the Crusades. With modern weapons the Japanese made Kamikaze attacks against ships and landing craft, but even the Russians and Germans did it before them. Modern suicide bombers started in Lebanon in '83 against the Marines with a truck bomb and then came suicide vests against the Israelis. The human wave attack also has been around for millennia and the modern version is derived from the amphibious assault sea wave attack. The Confederacy used human wave attacks as did the Boxers in The Boxer Rebellion, then the Euro Armies of WW1, then Russian and Japanese attacks in WW2, followed by the Chinese in Korea. Still, a great parody- 555!

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