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Song Parodies -> "The Tragedy of Toomer's Oaks"

Original Song Title:

"Court of the Crimson King"

Original Performer:

King Crimson

Parody Song Title:

"The Tragedy of Toomer's Oaks"

Parody Written by:

Edward Genereux

The Lyrics

On my 22nd birthday (27 January) in 2011, an Alabama Crimson Tide fan called into a local sports talk station, admitting to disrupting the Auburn tradition called "the rolling of Toomer's Oaks" by poisoning the trees. The tradition is said to have begun around football coach Shug Jordan's tenure, which lasted from 1951 to 1975. In it, War Eagle fans toilet-paper the oaks at Toomer's Corner. After soil samples were taken near the oaks, however, it was concluded that the herbicide used was applied in a dose that was beyond lethal. The trees have either perished or soon will, according to the Bama fan, out of the fan's wrath for both the Auburn fans' perceived disrespect for the deceased when Bear Bryant died on 17 January 1983 and the Tigers' comeback in the 2010 Iron Bowl rivalry game. This is my 93rd parody, but first of King Crimson.
The poisoned ground around the trees
Smelt like a dying frog.
The leaves would come and go no more;
The trees would soon be logs.
The toilet papering soon would cease,
As a Bama fan did lie
Concerning his identity
In that wrong of the Crimson Tide.

We fans of the War Eagle knew
(As we were middle class)
That Dixie's very upper crust
Should for this kiss our ass.
Though a fan of TCU I be,
I can't but empathize
For Auburn's rich tradition lost
To a fan of the Crimson Tide.

It's worse than Boise being snubbed
Or TCU left out
Of what they call a title game
Or something thereabouts
'Cos there's no excuse for what this guy
Did in the name of pride
Of the elephant of white and red
From the school of the Crimson Tide.

I checked Phil Steele and he did add
Insult to injury
By picking Auburn for dead last
In the west of SEC.
Yet, though that should be soon waved off,
This crime I shall deride:
That worse than any win or loss
Is this plague from the Crimson Tide!
Week One scores: Alabama 48, Kent St. 7; Auburn 42, Utah St. 38.

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Pacing: 5.0
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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

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