I remember to this day
Going out to the barn to play.
The time that I first heard the call of the wild.
After Cousin Boo showed me
His take on livestock husbandry.
I became a quad-ra-ped-o-phile

Me and ewes and a hog or two
Oinkin' and a-boinkin' in the barn,
Me and ewes and a hog or two
How you gonna keep me off the farm?

Still today I can recall
The shear thrill of it all.
That fleecing wildly wooly pleasure untold.
Saw what makes Old MacDonald go
"E-I-E-I-E-I-O"!
Right from the moment that I entered the fold.

Me and ewes and a hog or two
Oinkin' and a-boinkin' in the barn,
Me and ewes and a hog or two
How you gonna keep me off the farm?

Tom, Tom the pipers son
Stole a pig and away he run
For a reason hitherto unknown.
But his motive was revealed
When that poor little piggy squealed
"WEE WEE WEE WEE WEE" all the way home.

Me and ewes and a hog or two
Oinkin' and a-boinkin' in the barn,
Me and ewes and a hog or two
How you gonna keep me off the farm?

The mem'ry of Bo Peep
Always makes me want to weep
She lost her sheep, and knew not where to find them.
She vocally expressed alarm
When she looked inside the barn
And seen us shagging their little tails behind them.

Me and ewes and a hog or two
Oinkin' and a-boinkin' in the barn,
Me and ewes and a hog or two
How you gonna keep me off the farm?