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Song Parodies -> "Supertelevangelistic Sex-and-Drugs Psychosis"

Original Song Title:

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"

Original Performer:

Julie Andrews (Mary Poppins)

Parody Song Title:

"Supertelevangelistic Sex-and-Drugs Psychosis"

Parody Written by:

Spaff.com

The Lyrics

A spoonful of crystal helps the prostitute go down.
I used to be a master of the anti-gay crusade
Until a butch disaster blew my pastor masquerade
But if it's true I'm pounding more than pulpits, don't blame me
It's 'cause I caught my hooker-tweaker-stud's infirmity

It's
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
Worse than plague and bird flu crossed with osteoporosis
We were playing doctor and he gave this diagnosis:
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis

Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye
Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye

I found the perfect therapist - the kind that gives massage
I like to drive my Escort and I park in his garage
I swear he only serves me crank when all his Coke is gone
And then he helps me straighten out my Peter, James, and John

Blame
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
That's my greatest guilty pleasure next to Guns N' Roses
Good thing there's no ban on it in all the books of Moses
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis

Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye
Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye

It seems all pious public figures bugger on the sly
But Jesus loved republicans and sinners; so must I
Say "Holy moley, Mister Foley! That boy's underage!"
But I believe the congressman has turned another page

Oh!
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
Next time, better cut me off at handshakes and Mimosas
No more meth or men for me (at least in overdoses)!
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis!
(c) 2006+ I Love To Spaff

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 103

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   11
 3
 2
 
 5   91
 99
 100
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jack Wilson - November 06, 2006 - Report this comment
WHENEVER you do Mary POppins parodies its always hilarious, this is no exception,555!
John Barry - November 06, 2006 - Report this comment
He didn't inhale the meth, but he did some blow. Great job!
Arwen - November 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Very funny stuff, Spaff...the Guns N' Roses bit really put the whole thing in perspective for me. I mean really...there are WORSE things than drug dealing male prostitutes...
alvin rhodes - November 06, 2006 - Report this comment
quite possibly the best parody of this song ever...which is really saying something
Ravyn Rant - November 06, 2006 - Report this comment
"No more meth or men for me (at least in overdoses)"...great line, no pun intended. 555
Adam Eccleshall - November 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Great stuff as ever, Spaff :)
Linda Terhune - November 06, 2006 - Report this comment
"I did not have sex with that man - Mr. Jones"
Mike Jones - November 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Supertaleofpreachin'scumwhoselyin'isatrocious
Robert J. Pagliaro - November 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Spaff - nice job. The story that took Foley off of the front pages just keeps on giving. Happy Election Day. bob
Matthias - November 06, 2006 - Report this comment
I agree with Jack, how many of this song have you done now? Does it really matter? Each and every song you've done of this.... well each and every sone you've done has been pure brilliance!
Meriadoc - November 06, 2006 - Report this comment
A perfect example of why we all desire to attain Spaffishness, but will never match the master...! :-)
Dee Range - November 06, 2006 - Report this comment
I heard this story on Yahoo on Friday, spent the weekend trying to think of a song to use and something funny to say. NEVER MIND! You saved us all the trouble. Hope Robert Lund will record this masterpiece and send it to the New Life Church in Denver and The National Association of Evangelicals. This is freakin' awesome, but now I have to write a new ending for my T.V. Evangelical Hall Of Shame....dang it. Perfect 555
Red Ant - November 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Great jump on this news story, Spaff. I can't believe no one mentioned the double entendre "drive my Escort" (lol!) yet, as well as all the internal rhymes in the first two lines of verses 1 and 4. Another fine one from the book of Spaff.
Spaff.com - November 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanx, Local Celeb & Johnglebarry (heh heh) & Sister Evenstar (heh heh) & e.e. rhodes (wow) & Rantyn Rave (heh heh) & Adam's Appleshall & Smeagol (wow) & Ant in Chains!

Linda: Ah, yes. I sure wish I had been writing parodies during the Clinton years. When it comes to political sex scandals, I'm bi. (Partisan.) If Mike Jones drops by, I'll ask him if he's related to Paula.

Mike: Ha! You related to Paula?

Bob: And a happy day after to you. Congrats to all you giddy donkeys.

St Matthias: This is my fourth. It's been almost two and a half years since the last one, though, so I figured it was time to pop open the barrel and shoot some more fish.

Dee: I'm still holding my breath hoping he'll record it. It's been several days now, though, and I'm turning bluer than Congress. And, yeah, you gotta write Ted Haggard into your song.
Adagio - November 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Brilliant and very funny Spaff!! I guess this is one reason why I'll never do this song...it's been done so brilliantly that there's no need. : )
Barbara - November 10, 2006 - Report this comment
HYSTERICAL!!!!!! JUST WONDERFUL
Brian - November 10, 2006 - Report this comment
thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU!!!!!
Albatross - November 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Bwwaahahahaahaahaa.... Can't hahahahaha... type hehaheheehehe for hahahahahehehe.... laughing hahahahahah
Spaff.com - November 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanx a bazillion, Patagio & Barbara & Brian & Albatross!

Dearest Amirighters: In case any of y'all are alarmed at the number of votes this has picked up today, I've figured out why: It was posted on a popular blog this morning (joemygod.blogspot.com) with a lovely request by the author for readers to give me feedback. So I've received a bunch of emails, as well as increased traffic to my site and, apparently, here too.
Yoidy - November 12, 2006 - Report this comment
All I can say is that this is pretty psychedelicosis!
Glenalan - November 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Your meter couldn't be neater.
DD - November 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Of course, this is an outstanding parody, but "It seems all pious public figures bugger on the sly." Do you know something about the Pope and Billy Graham that nobody else knows?
Stuart McArthur - November 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Praise the Lord! - a companion piece for "Esther Madge" - stamped with brilliance spaff - it's comforting to see you up there leading the way - and I loved "straighten out my Peter, James, and John" and the inspired Tammy Faye chorusline - 555
HERE'S ROBERT LUND'S RECORDING - November 14, 2006 - Report this comment
www.spaff.com/mp3/Supertelevangelistic.mp3

Yoidy & Glenalan & s2art: Thank you and heh heh.

DD: My prostitute, er, lawyer has advised me not to answer that question. Try asking their massage therapists.
Chris Q - November 15, 2006 - Report this comment
I help to write an annual musical parody revue in my hometown, and we've been thinking of doing "Superpsychoactive drugs you take in megadoses." Yours is WAY funnier. Thanks.
Shikkarasu - November 15, 2006 - Report this comment
ROTFLMAO: OMG, OMG, I can't breath, 555, OMG.
Jack Wilson - November 15, 2006 - Report this comment
BTW what was the first parody you ever wrote? Oh and you should do that "Marty Feldman Eyes" thingy you mentioned in a comment you made on We Drank a Toast to Undeprants
Jack Wilson - November 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Her hair was Monroe gold Her lips were Jolie size Her hands look freakin old She's got Marty Feldman eyes Hows that for a start? Not straling your idea,just giving ideas
Johnny D - November 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Spaff, when are you going to quit your day job?
Dee Range - November 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Just had a listen to Robert's recording. I hope they play this on every radio station in the US...daily....and twice on Sunday, right before every church service. Just superb, Spaff.
Phil Alexander - November 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Mind-blowing. So to speak.
Jack Wilson - November 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Just wanted to say that, if I HAD to pick a top 10 fav Spaff parodies this is in the top 5! and lemme tell ya pciking your top 10 Spaff parodies is HARD.
Lady Silver - November 20, 2006 - Report this comment
It was a good thing that i was set to replace my keyboard right before I heard this song - i laughed so hard that coffee came out of my nose. And it burns, btw. But that is...wow. This goes BEYOND priceless, I think i'm in love. :P
Jack Wilson - November 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Ok, ok Ill admit. BEST SPAFF PARODY EVER, THIS right here!
Jack Wilson - November 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Maybe you should rethink that not entering in SOTM thing...
Spaff.com - November 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Chris: Do it. Then put the video up on YouTube. Instant fame.

Shikkarasu: LOL. TYVM.

Johnny: I'll be quitting my day job any day now - just as soon as I've figured out how to live on 0% of my current income.

Dee: They already do. In the Church of Me. You should join - I sell indulgences at half price.

Phil: Heh heh. So to speak.

Lady Silver: In love, eh? Sorry, but I understand that Ted's already got a boyfriend. And/or a wife.

Jack & Jack & Jack & Jack & Jack: Multiple thanks. You're off to an excellent start with that parody. Alas, a search of Dr. Demento's playlists turns up a "Marty Feldman Eyes" by Bruce "Baby Man" Baum, circa 1981. So we're only 25 years too late.
Jack Wilson - November 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Spaff, ah damn BEATEN TO THE DRAW AGAIN! Ill check that out though
Jack Wilson - November 24, 2006 - Report this comment
In the church of Spaff, theres no septic tanks right? and youve kiled possumsl ong enough?
Michael McVey - November 25, 2006 - Report this comment
This is hilarious!!!!! Definitely 5's, I wish I could give a 6 for "how funny"!----MM
Spaff.com - December 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Local Celeb: In the Church of Me, you can have whatever you want. You just have to pray for it, then go and get it yourself; I can't be bothered to assist.

And thank you, McMichael. Did I tell you I found Pastor Ted on MySpace? (www.myspace.com/tedhaggard) Unfortunately, his profile is set to private and he doesn't accept friend requests from bands. 'Tis a shame; I'm sure he'd want to put this song up on his page.
Louis - December 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Love Mary Poppins songs! Grew up with them, as well with evangelist so it takes me back to my childhood days in many ways! Great Parody wrting
Lance Proudfoot - December 22, 2006 - Report this comment
A perfect 10. I'll be laughing for days. This was the best parody ever! And it just kept getting better and better. A real "page turner"!
Spaff.com - December 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Louis: You grew up with an evangelist? Which one? St. John? What's he like in real life?
Lance: Page turner. Heh heh.
Thanks, both.
Lenoxus - March 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Only tiny problem: the tempo is just a little too slow and "regular" where the original is a little more syncopated. If it were more upbeat, it would have a greater element of surprise, given that we'd less easily predict the next syllable
Spaff.com - August 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Lenoxus: Come on - that's not a "tiny problem." It's an ENORMOUS problem.
Adam - June 05, 2008 - Report this comment
It's been too long since anyone has said nice things about you on this page, a wrong that WILL NOT STAND. I think you are quite talented and delightfully twisted. There, another wrong righted in the name of Justice (she works the swing shift at the Spearmint Rhino here in Vegas).
Spaff.com - June 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanx, Adam. I'm a big fan of Justice. And there's gotta be an "injustice" joke here somewhere.
Phil Crone - February 11, 2009 - Report this comment
I prefer reading and trying your parodies rather than reading about rocket science - much more intelligent. Keep up the good parodies.
Spaff.com - February 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Phil. Everything I know I learned from "Rocket Science for Dummies."

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