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Song Parodies -> "Bleep! Old Birds"

Original Song Title:

"Feed The Birds"

Original Performer:

Julie Andrews (Mary Poppins)

Parody Song Title:

"Bleep! Old Birds"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

The Kronenbourg joke in the third verse comes from the popular beer: Kronenbourg 1664
On a Soho street corner, the old woman stands
Beckoning punters her way
Her pimp soon approaches and rudely demands
How much money has she made today
"How much have you taken, how much have you got?"
"Ten pounds 2p from the guys"
"Which tight-fisted bastard gave only 2p?"
"All of them did," she replies

BLEEP! old birds, tuppence a hag
Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a hag
BLEEP! old birds, tuppence a hag
Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a hag

For it's your invitation
To cheap fornication
Won't cost you an arm, or a leg
But best use protection
Upon your erection
Or it might cost you much worse instead

Get herpes, tuppence a hag
Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a hag
STDs, tuppence a hag
Tuppence, comeuppance, tuppence a hag

Don't touch, you might break up
Her half-inch of make-up
They call her the Kronenbourg whore
She looks pretty fine:
Age sixteen from behind
From the front, she's at least sixty-four

Aged birds, dressed up as lamb
Mutton, mutton dressed up as lamb
Ancient birds, tuppence a hag
Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a sha...
..a..
..a..
.g.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Johnny D - September 29, 2005 - Report this comment
And a spoonful of sugar helps the "medicine" go down --- in, a most DELIGHT-FUL, way!
alvin rhodes - September 29, 2005 - Report this comment
just look what you've done to this lovely song...i love it...5s
Phil Alexander - September 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, it's slightly expurgated compared to the version I tried posting yesterday, but I think it's kind of fun. I've got a backing track for this, so I may try recording it...
Stuart McArthur - September 29, 2005 - Report this comment
some hilarious lines and observations there, Phil: "Don't touch, you might break up Her half-inch of make-up" - in fact that whole verse - great destruction of the sombre OS - 555
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Very witty indeed. And the things she can do with an umbrella...
Alpha Skua - January 10, 2018 - Report this comment
Feed the Birds that cereal with all those vitamins what the birds chase the cat up a tree

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