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Song Parodies -> "You Do Know That Pokemons Kill?"

Original Song Title:

"A Few Of My Favorite Things"

Original Performer:

Julie Andrews

Parody Song Title:

"You Do Know That Pokemons Kill?"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

You think electronic wildlife are harmless? Think again! Pokemons are now actually killing people!

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here.
Pokemons kill off the slow and unwitting
Catch up on all of the ways they are hitting
Lured to the freeway and pinned on a grill
That is just one way you're Pokemon-killed

Crushed to a pulp by a truck as you waddle
Fall to your death from a cliff as you dawdle
Stuck in a sewer pipe miles from your home
These are some ways you can die with your phone

Going off levees and skyscraper splashes
Getting too close in hot wildfire ashes
Leaning into crematorium flames
These are some ways you can die with the game

Catch a frostbite
Fall on shoestrings
Drown in unbarred tar
And always remember - Now Pokemons kill
Unless you've an e-lifeguard

Pokemon Go's like The Reaper on Tinder
Swipe wrong you die and swipe left maybe injured
Walking straight forward while sunk in their screens
Pokemons picks off a zillion teens

ISIS retires, Nintendo takes over
Death to America through iPhone drovers
Mine shafts fill up with a pied piper's app
That's if we fall for that Pokemon trap

Zombie-like humans now crawl in the gutter
"Gotta catch one more" we can hear them stutter
Pokemon rapture descends on their souls
As they are struck off the Pokemons' rolls

Catch your last rites
Save your offspring
From the railroad yard
And always remember - Now Pokemons kill
They've 'scaped from their trading cards

© Peter Andersson.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - July 29, 2016 - Report this comment
Interesting parody- 555! However, more people are killed by cell phone distractions in cars, at home, on the streets than Pokémon GO. In 1999, a 13 mo baby suffocated on a Burger King Poke Ball container and died. That's the only death in real-life I can recall.
Peter Andersson - July 29, 2016 - Report this comment
@ Rob: I'm in the emergency ward business you know, Sweden already have had a lot on Pokemon Go related ER visits, and in Denmark a guy died in a crash while trying to catch from his car:

http://www.thelocal.dk/20160728/danish-pokemon-hunter-killed-in-traffic-accident
Peter Andersson - July 29, 2016 - Report this comment
It should probably be noted though that semi-inspiration for this parody came from the book "Libriomancer" that I finished reading the same day, the last third was excellent:

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12844699-libriomancer
Rob Arndt - July 29, 2016 - Report this comment
Peter, I understand, but in the US AFAIK there have been just 61 incidents mostly involving getting lost, getting lost and robbed or assaulted, getting lost and having the cell phone stolen, several car crashes, being bitten by a snake and attacked by dogs, falling off an ocean bluff here in California, being hit while walking in the street, etc... but compare that to just cell phone car texting in the US. Roughly 3,000 killed and another 330,000 injured per year and climbing! There are an estimated 1 million US driver's texting while driving. Pokémon GO is nowhere near that or getting hit texting or playing video games in the street. The most common Pokémon GO hazard seems to be getting lost and/or robbed. Some have been shot at as percieved robbers wandering on to private property. Stupidity abounds.
Peter Andersson - July 30, 2016 - Report this comment
I remember reading this article about how more people worldwide now die every year in selfie related accidents than are being killed by sharks. Pokemon Go has not been around long enough for us to know how high its number will reach. Maybe I should have postponed uploading this parody for a couple of weeks/months or given the subject a fuller explanation in the intro. Anyway, I've already tackled the subject of selfie obsession in one of my own favorite works (but that was before I knew about duckfaced pouting selfers falling from cliffs etc so there's no-one dying in it):

http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/kylieminogue16.shtml
Rob Arndt - July 30, 2016 - Report this comment
Online sites says this was just released July 6, 2016 and had an initial 75 million downloads in several countries. Wiki is a poor source for in-depth material, but the basics underplay (no pun intended) the bad effects of the game. Wiki lists one death so far, but a few others have been killed as well. Yes, it is way too early to know how deadly Pokémon GO _can_ be...
Patrick - July 31, 2016 - Report this comment
You could wander into the desert and be eaten by vultures: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/kansas92.shtml.
? - July 31, 2016 - Report this comment
^ 404 Error
Helping Patrick - August 01, 2016 - Report this comment
It's the dot at the end that need to go, here, try this:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/kansas92.shtml

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