deep below a mountain, in the darkness that besets us
hiding from the sun and from the birthday that indebts us
we can sneak around and angry goblins never gets us
snooper-caving-Smeagol needing very much his precious

we kept the precious secret, it was ours and our own
we heard some clumsy movings and a hobbit sat alone
oh, Blundering It’s Lost Because Of how it lagged behind
so Bartering A Guessing Game, It Needs Some Exit Signs

a
sneaky, nasty, nosy thing, it for some help requests us
but when we approach it, in a riddle game it tests us
Baggins is its name and help we promised if it bests us
But if we should lose, we’ll simply go and get the precious

we started telling stumpers that would trap the Baggins there
but then it asked a riddle that was tricksy, never fair
we struggled with three guesses and found disappointing grief’
but then we guessed too late that filthy Baggins was a THIEF!

that
stupid filthy Bagginses has stolenses the precious
if we Grinds Old Lazy Loser Up, Meat burgers gets us
Spicing Meager Enemy, Add Green Organic Lettuce
Stupid, Ugly, Odd, It Covets, Evil, Robbing Precious