Pulled up some bushes and weeds that had thickened
Crab grass was spreadin’ and sight of it sickened
Big buzzing bumble bee brought me its sting
Bought me a tube of some topical cream

My muscles aching and arms were like noodles
I yelled at leg swells and cried my disproval
My knees did die, did you hear old guy scream?
Grabbed me a tube of that crap Aspercreme.

Stomach sent message, it’s time for a snackage
I spied some goodies and pulled them from package
Chewed on my sandwich and teeth fell in beans
Teeth cannot chew without denture kit cream

I get knee gripes, I get bee stings
When my chews go bad
I simply pick fix-it from cabinet creams
And then I don’t feel so bad.

Temp drops, I’m frozen, and whiskers get stiffened
It makes me mental when skin cells aren’t stickin’
Skin scaly pleads assist, ‘moisten me please’
Skin I will lube with my lotion and creams

Hair hasn’t grown much and bald head is cru-el
Now I and keyboard are searching on Google
Need hair that’s manly, and stays when it flings
Rogaine on scalp is testosterone cream.

Early in morning my mind isn’t moving
I traipse downstairs and I grind beans so soothing
Search in my fridge and I see carton gleam
Coffee won’t work without Land o’ Lakes cream

With a skin plight
When no hair springs
When my zig won’t zag
I simply am grateful for apropos cream
And then I apply my salve