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Song Parodies -> "Chelsea to Canvey"
Original Song Title:
"Chelsea Morning"
Original Performer:
Joni Mitchell
Parody Song Title:
"Chelsea to Canvey"
Parody Written by:
John Davison
The Lyrics
Canvey is a place in south Essex, England where property values are reasonable relative to Chelsea which is a prosperous part of west London. Fenchurch Street is a railway terminus in central London from where passenger trains serving south Essex are usually available. The Dartford bridge is a tall and prominent road crossing over the River Thames, formally named as the Queen Elizabeth II bridge.
Woke up it was a Chelsea morning,
I don’t recognise this bed.
I only drank three cocktails
Now there’s a throbbing in my head.
I need a taxi cab to Fenchurch Street
And I’ll have to do my sums.
Oh, can’t I stay
And put off the day?
And we’ll raid the ’fridge for crumbs.
Woke up, it was a Chelsea morning,
I must have had too much to drink,
What’s that sunshine through the curtains,
Now I just need some time to think.
Found my hat, collect my coat,
I stumble down the stairs.
A voice above says “Bye-bye love,”
Well at least that stranger cares!
Fairly soon the street’s in focus
And I slowly venture east,
My brain just tries to tell my legs
That I’m not really pieced.
Some evening papers lie in piles,
Waiting to blow away! Hey, hey!
The ticket gates retract their claws,
I find a quiet coach.
I’m thankful that my jacket
Still contains some crumpled notes.
The shiny towers and Dartford bridge
Quite soon are left behind,
I hung on to my dignity
And I didn’t lose my mind!
Woke up it was a Canvey morning,
So I’m back where I belong.
I made some mates in London town
And now I’ve got an extra song!
Yes I made some mates in London town
And now I’ve got an extra song!
I don’t recognise this bed.
I only drank three cocktails
Now there’s a throbbing in my head.
I need a taxi cab to Fenchurch Street
And I’ll have to do my sums.
Oh, can’t I stay
And put off the day?
And we’ll raid the ’fridge for crumbs.
Woke up, it was a Chelsea morning,
I must have had too much to drink,
What’s that sunshine through the curtains,
Now I just need some time to think.
Found my hat, collect my coat,
I stumble down the stairs.
A voice above says “Bye-bye love,”
Well at least that stranger cares!
Fairly soon the street’s in focus
And I slowly venture east,
My brain just tries to tell my legs
That I’m not really pieced.
Some evening papers lie in piles,
Waiting to blow away! Hey, hey!
The ticket gates retract their claws,
I find a quiet coach.
I’m thankful that my jacket
Still contains some crumpled notes.
The shiny towers and Dartford bridge
Quite soon are left behind,
I hung on to my dignity
And I didn’t lose my mind!
Woke up it was a Canvey morning,
So I’m back where I belong.
I made some mates in London town
And now I’ve got an extra song!
Yes I made some mates in London town
And now I’ve got an extra song!
Melody is ©Joni Mitchell 1967 composed in E Major, refer to: Site name That song has been covered by Fairport Convention, Judy Collins, Susan Darby, Neil Diamond, Sérgio Mendes and Dave Van Ronk, among others.
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