In 1814, I took a little trip, to ditch my naggin' woman,
Cause I couldn't stand her lip
She had a nasty temper, used to knock me with ballpeens,
Rather fight the bloody British, so, I left for New Orleans

I fired my gun, made the British my old woman
This way, I'd hit a penny, if the shot had miles to go
Fired more and more, cause I was havin' fun, and
My misses, she is hippy, easy target, doncha' know?

I looked down the river, more of my old woman come
It must've been a hundred of 'em, screamin' like "Old Mum"
Their red coats flyin' and their bugler blowin charge..
And they all looked exactly like my mean old woman, "Marge"

Old Hickory said, we should wait and then surprise
But I saw her toothless grin, and nailed her right between the eyes
Guess all my buddies had an ugly woman, too
Cuz they powdered up their muskets, let 'em have it, "Blooey Bloo!"

Oh, we fired our guns, made the British our old women
That way we'd hit a penny, if the shot had miles to go
We fired some more, cause we were havin' fun, and
Our misses, they are hippy, easy targets, doncha' know?

Yes, we fired our guns, made the British our old women
That way we'd hit a penny, if the shot had miles to go
We fired some more, cause we were havin' fun, and
Our misses, they are hippy, easy targets, doncha' know?

Wiped out our old women, to the Gulf of Mexico....