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Song Parodies -> "Sink The Biscuits"

Original Song Title:

"Sink The Bismark"

Original Performer:

Johnny Horton

Parody Song Title:

"Sink The Biscuits"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Woke with a taste for biscuits as the new day had begun
I dump some flour in a bowl and say I'll make me some
Then grab the salt and pepper, baking soda, toss in these
Turn my head aside and go, "Achoo!"..the pepper makes me sneeze..

Plug in the mixer from the shelf ..and I get it whirlin' good
Then set it down still runnin', one thing you never should,
But I'm just thinkin' biscuits, not cautionary care..
Bend to read the recipe, and the mixer snags my hair..

A new dance is invented, as I scream and flail, and cuss
But cannot sink the biscuits, hungry tummy counts on us
Clean out scalp and twisted hair..respin those beaters 'round
Must not sink the biscuits, in spite of balded crown..

One half stick of butter, three quarters cup of milk
When they're all done, my biscuits..will be smooth as silk
I knead the dough and also..need 'em in my gut
I shape the ball into a roll and make the biscuit cut..

For fifteen minutes in the 'em rise and bake
Shine of pride is on me, so strong my ankles ache..
Now with a purple hot pad, I pop 'em from the pan
My mind is thinkin' biscuits..there is nothing greater than..

The mixer goof is hist'ry now, those mem'ries hopped a bus
I will not Sink The Biscuits, hungry tummy counts on us
Damaged scalp and twisted hair...can't keep a good cook down
Picture perfect Biscuits glow steamy hot, and brown

When cool enough, bite into one, and break a wisdom tooth
Good looks can be pudding is the proof
I raise up high the toilet seat..they make a splashing sound
It's time to Sink The Biscuits..blow taps and flush 'em down

A cartoon coyote mistake, not learned till it's too late
I hear a small explosive crack, as toilet meets it's fate
Stool waters rush across the floor..with high sunami sound
Just save yourself, I tell my dog, the bathroom's goin' down

Another dance invented as I scream, and flail and cuss
Should notta' sunk those biscuits..look at this mess and fuss
With hair transplants, the plumber's bill, new bathroom floor, I've found
Next time I want fresh biscuits, I'll just buy some in town

Next time I want fresh biscuits, I'll just buy some in town

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

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Invisible Boy - January 07, 2009 - Report this comment
A perfect recipe for funny...
alvin - January 07, 2009 - Report this comment
especially liked "cartoon coyote mistake"
MadameBizQuick - January 07, 2009 - Report this comment
Sir L'Air deFarce, this is a cute & tangled story indeed! ! Loved it truly! Do try ~McDonald's~ biscuits: La bisqueta con Huevos redondo, muy bueno, Senior L'Air !
AFW - January 07, 2009 - Report this comment
Many thanks, Folks
Timmy1000 - January 07, 2009 - Report this comment
Nice one on a good old tune. Silly me just threw these mistakes in the trash; now there is an alternative.
MrMacphisto - January 07, 2009 - Report this comment
I have to say... this is truly one of my favorites of yours... So many great lines are here, and the imagery was hilarious... This would be great for a video...
AFW - January 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, T,1000...and special thanks, MrMac for such a nice compliment.
RobH - September 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Funny as anything of Weird Al's LOVED IT 555!
AFW - September 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, RobH...

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