I had a friend named Bill Blinker,
He was a really heavy drinker,
And on the side he'd sometimes take a hit.
I told him he shouldn't do it,
And Billy said he knew it
So he started drinking a Balthazar instead of a fifth!

He's in the doghouse now (he's in the doghouse now),
He' s in the doghouse now (he's in the doghouse now),
When Billy barfed in his bathtub,
His wife kicked him out, he landed with a thud.
He' s in the doghouse now (he's in the doghouse now).

I met his old friend, Steven, he said Bill's wife should leave him,
I told him that just might come about.
She's a Sunday school teacher,
Today he flipped off the preacher,
This time I don't think she's gonna let him out!

He's in the doghouse now (he's in the doghouse now),
He' s in the doghouse now (he's in the doghouse now),
Well, he came back from the bar,
With a 20-year-old co-ed in his car!
He' s in the doghouse now (he's in the doghouse now).

When Illinois has an election, the politicos get in action
Trying' to elect themselves a hypocrite.
Bill tried to run his beagle,
Said heroin should be legal,
His website got about a million hits!

He's in the doghouse now (he's in the doghouse now),
He's in the doghouse now (he's in the doghouse now),
When his wife went through the mail,
Well, I've never seen such a shade of pale!
He's in the doghouse now (he's in the doghouse now).
He's in the doghouse now (he's in the doghouse now).