Johnny Humour is a stand-up
He tells raunchy jokes
Johnny Humour works in nightclubs
He drinks and he smokes
He greets his fans
Laughs with the band
He's punchline quick and heckler tough
And his audiences can't get enough
Of Humour,
Johnny Humour

Johnny Humour plays the circuit
He travels alone
Johnny's ex-wife got the townhouse
No place he calls home
He roams the land, this lonely man
He lives on booze and casual sex
And he signs those alimony checks
Ill humor
Johnny Humour

Johnny Humour has ambition
His own TV show
Johnny Humour keeps applyin'
Producers say "No"
He roams the land, this funny man
He's improv quick and censor tough
And you can't deny he knows his stuff
His humor
Johnny Humour

Early morning in the motel
He lies wide awake
Johnny Humour keeps on hopin'
He'll get that big break
He won't be canned, he won't be banned
Stories filthier than a toilet brush
And his language would make old Lenny* blush
His humor
Johnny's humor

Johnny Humour learned the network
Would broadcast his act
So that evening was a sell-out
The whole bar was packed
Those jokes should score
They'd worked before
But he put the whole damned crowd to sleep
And the viewers at home heard one long BLEEEEEEEEP!
Poor humor
Johnny Humour

Johnny Humour works at Wal-Mart........