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Song Parodies -> "A Boy Aged Two"

Original Song Title:

"A Boy Named Sue"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Johnny Cash

Parody Song Title:

"A Boy Aged Two"

Parody Written by:

Airfarcewon

The Lyrics

One day, Daddy said, "Son, you're on your own"
I wasn't quite prepared to go it alone,
But I didn't gripe, I just hitched my huggie a smoo..
A little young to work and rent a room,
But maturity started in the womb
I stood six feet tall and I was just age two

Every famous doc and world scientist
Never knew how to label me on their odd list
So, placed beneath my name, a question mark..
Things were kind a' rough for the first few months
Got crazy laughs when I made job hunts
Till I signed with the city, cleaning up the park

Every morning I'd mix my formula
Waddle to work, greeted folks, "da da"
Packed extra huggies in my diaper bag..
Park's littered trash..was my job to pick
I filled waste cans..used a sharp edge stick
By each days end, my huggie would really sag

Named Pickie of the Month, received a star
Scraped and saved my pay, bought a kiddie car
Fridays with the gang I'd pop a brew..
Though I grew up fast, I was still a twerp
When my tummy'd bloat they'd help me burp
Quite a sight with a six foot tot, who's just age two

While the guys at work were talkin' XXX,
Perked my ears to listen and discovered sex
Not supposed to hear, becuz' way too young was I..
But I'd sneak and listen every day,
Found myself a girl, who went all the way,
Told her I'm age two, what do I do?
Off, my huggies fly..
(what a crazy cougar!)

Well, I learned real fast from her sexpertise
We floored some more, blistered up my knees
When I told all the guys the next day..they were skepti-cal..
So, I showed 'em a photo of my girlfriend,
Told 'em just fifty dollars I had to spend
They said, "Boy, you just bought yourself a hooker, you Ragin' Bull!"

Well, after that they'd let me listen in,
To their dirty jokes and brags of sin
I felt like a man even tho' I was infantile..
I learned to fight and I learned to cuss
They all said, "Hey now, Boy..you're one of us"
And then we'd scrap and wind up in a big dog pile

One day I heard the mirror speak
"Not a chance for advancement as a paper geek,
Here you are, almost three and life is zipping along.."
So, I left city park and I said goodbye
Gurgled, "See ya' guys", fought a baby cry.,
I won't forget they helped to make me strong

Accepted for a government college loan
Qualified for foodstamps, an Obama phone
Plus Medicaid, where a lady tweaked my cheek, "Coo, coo"..
Received PIPP, and, also, Heap
Prescription Ambien because it helped me sleep
Good public assistance for a boy just age two

In college chose my life's career
The perfect one that's right and clear,
In three months graduated with a high IQ..
Earned Phd..took pre-med school
Hung my shingle up..and it looks really cool
I'm a baby doctor now, a boy aged two

(Obstetrician..you know)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   11
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 11
 

User Comments

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Wild Child JIN - May 16, 2011 - Report this comment
Very, Very, Good Job, from a boy aged 9! :-) 555!
Michael Pacholek - May 16, 2011 - Report this comment
That explains how Neil Patrick Harris went from Doogie Howser to Barney Stinson.
Andy Primus - May 16, 2011 - Report this comment
Good story telling - conjured up some very weird images in my head as I was reading it.
Fave lines = twerp/burp & where a lady tweaked my cheek, "Coo, coo"..
Tommy Turtle - May 16, 2011 - Report this comment
And here TT thought *he* was precocious.... ;-D

So glad to see you back, I was gonna Five it before even reading! .. Got to be one of the most outrageous, off-the-wall concepts ever seen here (that's a *good* thing*) but the sharp social satire in the penultimate verse was the cherry on top.
Vote: 22222221 (I *think* that adds up to 15. ;)
Christie Marie M - May 16, 2011 - Report this comment
Welcome back, AFW! Nice to read your satires again after being gone a long time on AIR. Hmmmm...wow, a two year old living out on his own and trying to fend for himself, and trying to raise himself and face the real world without the help of his irresponsible, neglectful father. Kind of reminds me of "Matilda", a story of a girl genius by Dahl. And for some reason, it made me think of Dumbo as well when he had to face the world as his mom got imprisoned in the trailer. As for your satire, great as always, nice to see you writing again, and this really made me laugh.
AFW - May 16, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, WCJ, and Michael,and Andy, and welcome back, TT...long time no CC, there you go increasing my vocab, again...You knew I'd have to look up the def of penultimate..:) and thanks, Christie..good to see you back here, too..and. perhaps, the reason it made you think of Dumbo..was the author..:)..glad it gave you a giggle.
TT - May 17, 2011 - Report this comment
"You knew I'd have to look up the def of penultimate..:)" ... Yes, I did. (Mwahahahaha!!!!)
          But hey, it's for your own good! :-D
Susanna Viljanen - May 17, 2011 - Report this comment
It ain't easy for an early bloomer, but you made it fun. Fives!
AFW - May 17, 2011 - Report this comment
You're one shell of a turtle, TT...and thanks, Susanna

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