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Song Parodies -> "Booted Off Big Brother"

Original Song Title:

"Leaving On A Jet Plane"

Original Performer:

John Denver

Parody Song Title:

"Booted Off Big Brother"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

In case you are not familiar with CBS "Big Brother", it is a so-called "reality" show in which 16 people who can afford to take off work for three months are placed together in a house on the CBS studio lot. They play risky and messy games to win food, special privileges and immunities. Once a week the "Head of Household" selects two of the "guests" and the others vote which one will leave. There are short-lived romances, temporary alliances, and, in recent seasons, threats of violence. At the end of the summer, the expelled guests come back and vote which one of the two or three remaining will win the million dollar prize. The house is full of cameras. The TV audience only sees an hour or two of edited footage each week. Viewers (voyeurs) can subscribe to a cable or internet feed (I'm not sure if there is a fee involved) to be able to tune in 24/7, presumably to view the guests in their underwear or less. This bizarre show has been around for 15 seasons so far. Wonder what George Orwell would have thought. The expelled contestants always smile for the cameras, but I tried to imagine what they must really be thinking.
All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
Been voted off Big Brother show
Just thirty seconds left to say good-bye
But the door is open, the studio
Where Julie's* asking, she's wanting to know
"The house guests dumped you, can you tell us why?"

Just kiss me where sun won't shine
Go straight to a warmer clime
Bet your mother never wed your dad
The offspring of a she-dog
A piece, not wood, but still a log
Young boys, you want 'em bad

They are mostly white, some token Black
Gay guy couple seasons back
Bikini girls, tans they hope to get
Taking foolish risks for extra food
And in case you want to see them nude
Just watch all night, subscribe on internet

So insert it anally
Demonstrate mortality
Copulate while you are off the ground
North end of a south-bound horse
A Richard Cranium, of course
Your skull, in rectum found

I've lost my chance to win the prize
Three months under leering eyes
CBS, just like NSA
Friendships formed and then betrayed
That's just the way the game is played
Shake your hand, then send you on your way

Insisting, your teeth applied
Aperture, a huge backside
Excrement till no more space to fit
So lollipop a rooster
Like Oedipus you're loving her
Please, just micturate and split

Deceiving causes real pain
Next year it will be back again
Hey, I sure miss "Jericho"*
*Julie Chen, CBS news reporter, is the host of Big Brother. *Jericho was the best drama series CBS ever had. They sabotaged it from the start. "Under the Dome" doesn't even come close.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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PMS - July 29, 2013 - Report this comment
Love the rephrased curses "Bet your mother never wed your dad". was my fave.
Jonathan - July 29, 2013 - Report this comment
"Just kiss me where sun won't shine Go straight to a warmer clime" made me literally burst out with laughter! 5's
Callmelennie - July 29, 2013 - Report this comment
Good to see yu're getting some responses now as this is quite ingenious. There's a pacing issue or two here (eyes rolling up in sockets) so I can't give you all fives, so how about a 465
Patrick - July 30, 2013 - Report this comment
I had some problems with "Lollipop a rooster". Original singers set a pattern, then when they repeat a chorus, they toss in a redundant "well" or "so" or something of that nature that screws up the pacing. Glad you liked the altered curses and insults. I figured most would be fairly simple to figure out. Did everyone catch the Oedipus reference?

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