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Song Parodies -> "The Day Mueller’s Report Did Come Down"

Original Song Title:

"The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Joan Baez

Parody Song Title:

"The Day Mueller’s Report Did Come Down"

Parody Written by:

Jonathan Spurlock

The Lyrics

After two years and millions of dollars, the official, sort of, report that had Mueller and any number of lawyers digging into all kinds of records was completed and released. This takes a light hearted look at the completion of this, ah, project.
Robert Mueller’s the name/And I worked on a gravy train
'Till I finished up my work/and got millions of dollars paid. . .

Starting back in 2-16/Hillary’s success was well seen
We all thought our plans would go so well/It's a time we remember, oh so well

And then, they tried to take Trump down/And the texts were zingin’
From Comey and McCabe on down/And the stuff they were flingin;
They went, "collusion and the Russians, oh yeah"

Rosenstein’s a good friend to me/ One day he called out to me
"Robert, come and see/A project for you to lead."

Oh, I don't mind diggin’ deep/And I don't care if you get no sleep
You say what I want/And nothing more
But they should know/I’ll go through any open door--

The times I called a witness down/And the wires, recordin’
And all the pleas that came around/With media, reportin’
They went, "Ha, ha, la, ha, ha, la"

Two years of work completed/I’ll report what’s found
Completely unredacted/And I’ll stand my ground

400 pages, showing clear/Collusion? It was never near
But I’ll leave a nugget here and there/for those who will never
Admit defeat

The day that my report came down/And they all were waitin’
And then, you should hear the mournful sounds/Ruined expectations
They went, "Ha, ha, la, ha, ha, la"

The day when my report came down/And some hands were ringin’
No trace of collusion ever found/And their hopes were sinkin’
They went, "No, no, no, no, no, mo"

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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alexander's ragtag band - April 22, 2019 - Report this comment
Before Congress gets to see the unredacted report, give each congressman a test on the facts in the unredacted report, and publish their results. Those who make 100 on the test can be sequestered in a room and have the unredacted report read to them. Give periodic tests and publish the results. A grade of 100 allows them to continue.
Libby - April 22, 2019 - Report this comment
^^That makes no sense whatsoever.
Patrick - April 22, 2019 - Report this comment
Nicely written parody. No one has ever explained just how the Russians could have affected the election. Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump have been polarizing figures for decades. What could the Russkis have done to change anyone's mind with a few Facebook ads? Which aren't even illegal.
Jonathan Spurlock - April 22, 2019 - Report this comment
You're right, Patrick. Even Mr. Obama when he was still president asserted there was no way anybody could change a vote and not long ago, Mr. Rosenstein stated there was no evidence a single vote was changed. But that didn't stop "Robbie and Friends" from their project.
Libby - April 23, 2019 - Report this comment
Let's not forget...the Report is not a verdict, and certainly not a "Not Guilty" verdict.
Banda - April 24, 2019 - Report this comment
Well, his detractors were certainly anticipating it to be an instant "guilty" verdict until the big letdown. Now they're still grasping at straws. It's sad.

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