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Song Parodies -> "Big Fat Dong"

Original Song Title:

"Big Bad John"

Original Performer:

Jimmy Dean

Parody Song Title:

"Big Fat Dong"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Even if those internet ads were telling the truth about what they can do, that still don't mean things would turn out well...
Now, I've never been one of them kinda guys
Who goes on and on 'bout penis size
And maybe you're lucky, and maybe you're not
Whichever you think you may be if you've got a big dong

Big dong, Big dong, Big fat dong, Big dong.

But one day, let me recount my tale
My computer told me that I got mail
And the message said if I acted quick
Then I could have the world's largest ever dick - a big dong;

A guinea pig, there needs to be
For a new medical discovery
One little pill they could dispense
Could leave me with a huge, immense big dong;

Big dong, Big dong, Big fat dong, Big dong.

Then came the day when I received mine
Was a little nervous, ain't no denyin'
My pulse was racin' and heart beat fast
As I took that pill with a water glass, big dong

'Cause it only took a minute or two
And it grew and grew and it ****ing grew
Down past my knees and onto the floor
And you've never seen anything like *that* before, big dong;

Big dong, Big dong, Big fat dong, Big dong.

And so into town I swaggered along
Side by side, just swinging my schlong
I had to go, a.s.a.p.
'Cause I know my woman would like to see.. big dong;

Her smile suggested I'd fired her ardour
Something downstairs was getting somewhat harder
I went weak at the knees, fainted right away
And woke up well after she'd had her way with big dong;

Big dong, Big dong, Big fat dong, Big dong.

It takes so much blood to get erect
That every time from now on, I suspect
That I'll pass out when I get a hard on
And I'll only wake up when it's finally gone from big dong

Big dong, Big dong, Big fat dong, big dong.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - May 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Phallatically funny!
Black Unicorn - May 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Very funny... and AROUSING :-)~
Patrick - May 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Someone asked an acquaintance of mine "Who are you going to satisfy with that little thing"? His answer "Me".
Wild Child JIN - May 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Yo, Big Dong Man, Big Dong, Big Dong Yo! LOL!! ;-D, Yo! Excellent Job Phil! 5's! :-)
Puto - May 06, 2011 - Report this comment
ROFL - 5's - in yards not inches!!
Black Unicorn - May 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Any chance of a naughtier version for Whatfreaks???
Rob Arndt - May 07, 2011 - Report this comment
Phil, great job, loved it!!! Hope you don't mind but I took your parody and tweaked it another way- look for it on Monday. BTW, since I grew-up in the '70s-80s it was common to measure dick size in the showers after P.E. in school. I also lived with 6 guys before for ultra-low rent but there were always a few guys that liked to walk around nude after a shower with the annoying "towel around the neck dripping water on the carpet" routine!!! Back in the '70s (at least in Cali) there was this whole nudism thing and streaking going on. One summer my parents (German) wanted to go to a nudist camp- scared the crap out of me. Fortunately for us kids, they changed their mind and we went to Santa Cruz instead!!!
Phil Alexander - May 07, 2011 - Report this comment
:-) Thanks all..
Rob - looking forward to it
BU - I've not submitted anything to Whatfreaks for 8 or 9 years now: I find it more challenging to try and take the really naughty ideas and sanitise them just enough to get away with them here
Patrick - you sure it was "an acquaintance"? ;-)
Michael Pacholek - May 07, 2011 - Report this comment
Uh, Phil, I think Johnny D and his lawyer are going to contact you. As big beefs go, theirs is bigger than most. However, if you need someone to testify on your behalf, I'll do it. If that's not enough, and thy rod and thy staff cannot also comfort you, maybe these 5s will help.
Black Unicorn - May 08, 2011 - Report this comment
Phil, Can you do a parody on Trojans or vaginal yeast infections next???
Phil Alexander - May 08, 2011 - Report this comment
Michael - ah.. is that what the "D" stands for?
BU - when you say "Trojans", I've already done one about the Iliad ( and one on more general venerial infections (surprisingly enough, to the same tune as the last one:

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