Now, I've never been one of them kinda guys
Who goes on and on 'bout penis size
And maybe you're lucky, and maybe you're not
Whichever you think you may be if you've got a big dong

Big dong, Big dong, Big fat dong, Big dong.

But one day, let me recount my tale
My computer told me that I got mail
And the message said if I acted quick
Then I could have the world's largest ever dick - a big dong;

A guinea pig, there needs to be
For a new medical discovery
One little pill they could dispense
Could leave me with a huge, immense big dong;

Big dong, Big dong, Big fat dong, Big dong.


Then came the day when I received mine
Was a little nervous, ain't no denyin'
My pulse was racin' and heart beat fast
As I took that pill with a water glass, big dong

'Cause it only took a minute or two
And it grew and grew and it ****ing grew
Down past my knees and onto the floor
And you've never seen anything like *that* before, big dong;

Big dong, Big dong, Big fat dong, Big dong.


And so into town I swaggered along
Side by side, just swinging my schlong
I had to go, a.s.a.p.
'Cause I know my woman would like to see.. big dong;

Her smile suggested I'd fired her ardour
Something downstairs was getting somewhat harder
I went weak at the knees, fainted right away
And woke up well after she'd had her way with big dong;

Big dong, Big dong, Big fat dong, Big dong.


It takes so much blood to get erect
That every time from now on, I suspect
That I'll pass out when I get a hard on
And I'll only wake up when it's finally gone from big dong

Big dong, Big dong, Big fat dong, big dong.