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Song Parodies -> "Big Juan"
Original Song Title:
"Big Bad John"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Jimmy Dean
Parody Song Title:
"Big Juan"
Parody Written by:
Airfarcewon
The Lyrics
(Big Juan, Big Juan)
All the rumors at the plant used to buzz about him
Claimed that he was hung just like a hickory limb
Said this Mexican migrant crossed the Rio Grande slow
Made his body a boat, used his willie to row..Big Juan
(Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)
He drove a sixty Dodge, low rider wheels
Everyday at whistle time..you could hear the squeals
He never spoke much, 'cause his English weren't good
In the head, sneakers tried to spot his wood..Big Juan
(Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)
Every lunch was taco time with refried beans
Looked like he had a snake hidden in his tight jeans
Always close to him, the females would eat
And between their bites of sanwich, watched his hands and feet
-Big Juan, (Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)
Then came that day when the accident occurred
Several men were trapped..and much panic stirred
Everyone felt helpless, the men couldn't last
Who rushed to the scene..and acted fast ?..Big Juan
He broke thru the smoke where the crane had fell
And just what he had to do..Big Juan knew very well
He wedged in his willie like a big pry bar
That day he saved all the men..and was a hero Star..
-Big Juan (Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)
At the cheers of the crowd, he cracked a modest grin
When the ambulance came, tucked his willie back in
The feminine workers stared wide-eyed in awe..
Almost couldn't believe what they'd just saw..Big Juan
Word spread like wildfire from the small hick town
'About Juan's Big courage, and CNN drove down
Said, unique was this deed, so all the world should know
Flew him to LA to do the Larry King Show..Big Juan..
(Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)
Held a huge celebration when he got back home
They gave him an organ, and wrote him a poem
And he never returned to his old plant job
He's a porn star now, makin' girls hearts throb..Big Juan
(Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)
FADE (Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)
All the rumors at the plant used to buzz about him
Claimed that he was hung just like a hickory limb
Said this Mexican migrant crossed the Rio Grande slow
Made his body a boat, used his willie to row..Big Juan
(Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)
He drove a sixty Dodge, low rider wheels
Everyday at whistle time..you could hear the squeals
He never spoke much, 'cause his English weren't good
In the head, sneakers tried to spot his wood..Big Juan
(Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)
Every lunch was taco time with refried beans
Looked like he had a snake hidden in his tight jeans
Always close to him, the females would eat
And between their bites of sanwich, watched his hands and feet
-Big Juan, (Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)
Then came that day when the accident occurred
Several men were trapped..and much panic stirred
Everyone felt helpless, the men couldn't last
Who rushed to the scene..and acted fast ?..Big Juan
He broke thru the smoke where the crane had fell
And just what he had to do..Big Juan knew very well
He wedged in his willie like a big pry bar
That day he saved all the men..and was a hero Star..
-Big Juan (Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)
At the cheers of the crowd, he cracked a modest grin
When the ambulance came, tucked his willie back in
The feminine workers stared wide-eyed in awe..
Almost couldn't believe what they'd just saw..Big Juan
Word spread like wildfire from the small hick town
'About Juan's Big courage, and CNN drove down
Said, unique was this deed, so all the world should know
Flew him to LA to do the Larry King Show..Big Juan..
(Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)
Held a huge celebration when he got back home
They gave him an organ, and wrote him a poem
And he never returned to his old plant job
He's a porn star now, makin' girls hearts throb..Big Juan
(Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)
FADE (Big Juan, Big Juan) Real Big Juan (Big Juan)
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Voting Breakdown
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| 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 12 | 12 | 12 |
User Comments
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I always kind of liked this old stupid song; your version is much, much better. Say, wasn't Jummy Dean the "sausage" guy? Hmmm . . .
Funny idea, AFW. I'm glad Big Juan had the right tool for the job
Good parody and good comments too. Say, weren't the workers stuck in a shaft in the original?
Muy caliente y wit-tico! Su 'tale' was tall y, er, lonnnnnggg!
hilarious....love the happy ending..lol
Sir L'Air de Farce . . . I really wonder about you in that Double Wide ! !
Thanks, Timmy, IB, Claude, TJC, alvin, and LCC
Why did they give him an organ? Sounds like he already had one, and quite a one at that .... Humor in this "vein" proves that the "pen-is" mightier than the sword. No bones about it, 555 -- that's 15 -- inches.
Thanks, Tommy...yeah, I though the organ bit might make a good symbolic spoof
"the crane had fell" and "what they'd just saw"... Ai yi yi. It's OK. I know that Big Juan' s English weren't good. Very good story, AFW.
Thanks, John J...yeah, sometime ya' gotta' butcher English a bit to fit the pace...and rhyme
Un hombre grande, aquel Juan!! Brace yourself, but, this is "Juan" hell of a parody you wrote!!!! :) :) So hilarious! 555!! BTW, you referring to that Big Juan billboard in Cincinnati?
Great job there, AFW. Very funny, although some people (not necessarily AIR regulars, nor you or I) might not think the stereotyping is funny. BTW, I have seen a 1960 Dodge, and it is not a particularly attractive car. As far as old Dodges go, the 1959 and 1962 cars are the very worst, and the 1948-69 military-style Powerwagon trucks are the best, IMO. 5s.
Thanks, Christie....no, not familiar with the billboard you mention...and thanks, Andria...certainly not meant as a put down to Spanish people...primary theme is anatomical...Could have been any nationality..the name, Juan just made spoof pun
Sir L'Air de Farce . . . I think you've already 'outgrown' that Double Wide, eh, Sir ? ?
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