You are my bunion,
My only bunion,
You make me scream in so much pain,
You don't know how much I loathe you,
Doctor cannae take thee away.

I first found you, while I was bathing.
I saw you sat there, all alone.
You sat and mocked me, for an hour,
I looked again and screamed and swore.

You are my bunion,
my only bunion,
you make me how obscen - it - ies.
I'm of mind to zap thee, with bun - i - away!

I can imagine, life without you,
I could run A-long the shore,
I would wear some sexy sandles,
And I would paint my toe-nails red!

You are my bunion,
My bloomin' bunion,
You make me squeal pro - fan - ities.
I am a lady and that's quite filthy,
Won't you please just fade away?!!

I'm gonna file you with a chain saw,
Yes I'll wipe that smile off your face,
You beg and you weep and hurt me,
But tomorrow, you'll be bun - i - gone!

You are my bunion,
My only bunion,
How I loathe thee,
Ta - ra, bye bye.