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Song Parodies -> "Modem Hayes™ [1]"
Original Song Title:
"Purple Haze"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Jimi Hendrix
Parody Song Title:
"Modem Hayes™ [1]"
Parody Written by:
Guy DiRito
The Lyrics
Thought I'd reach back about a decade for nostalgic reasons and remind everyone of the good old days of modems which are still in somewhat common use today.
DKTOS Click HERE
DKTOS Click HERE
Modem Hayes™ ; It's old and lame,
MAPI [2] stinks; DSL's to blame.
Got no money for new system buy,
'Scuse me while my system fries.
Modem Hayes™, worse than down,
It's slow 'cause it's runnin' IO bound.
Not too snappy, corrupt registry,
It doesn't exist, it hurled, its integrity.
Helpdesk! Upgrade!
Modem Hayes failin' and dies,
Cannot find its way to site.
It so be slowin', slowed to a grind,
Maybe tomorrow get my slice of time.
This blows!
Helpdesk
Wah
C'mon and go!
Kick me
Kick me
[
MAPI [2] stinks; DSL's to blame.
Got no money for new system buy,
'Scuse me while my system fries.
Modem Hayes™, worse than down,
It's slow 'cause it's runnin' IO bound.
Not too snappy, corrupt registry,
It doesn't exist, it hurled, its integrity.
Helpdesk! Upgrade!
Modem Hayes failin' and dies,
Cannot find its way to site.
It so be slowin', slowed to a grind,
Maybe tomorrow get my slice of time.
This blows!
Helpdesk
Wah
C'mon and go!
Kick me
Kick me
[
1] Hayes Modem - At one time was one of the best and most widely used modem in computing. They can still be seen about from time to time.
[2] MAPI - Messaging Application Programming Interface (MAPI) is a messaging architecture and a Component .Object Model based API for Microsoft Windows.
[2] MAPI - Messaging Application Programming Interface (MAPI) is a messaging architecture and a Component .Object Model based API for Microsoft Windows.
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'Scuse me, while my system fries
CLASSIC. 555
CLASSIC. 555
Echo Jonathan S... LOL-- My fave line, too!
I'm a little Haze'y on the terminology that applies here... oh yeah--Baud'acious!
Like the "helpdesk" instead of Jimi's "Help me"; funny write that shows even after years of improvement. the problems still remain.
What a great tonic for terminal illness. 555!
Jonathan S. - CLASSIC? It's more closely described as ancient - I'm surprised that anyone has remembered this old timer - the OS is over 40 years old. Thanks.
Fiddlegirl - I'm glad to see that this is a fave line twice. Thanks.
TJC - What used to be called Baud Rate is now called Bandwidth. I had a modem once that was so old when I called tech support because it was not connecting the tech asked me if it was half or full duplex. Hell it said "simplex" - this gave the tech a complex. Thanks.
Timmy1k - They may have become more enhanced and sophisticated, but there still remains the same old bugs. Thanks.
Forsby - I remember when the human machine interface was called a terminal and the "enter" button was called the "return" key. Once I was giving instructions to a new operator on a mainframe when the system queued a question that needed a "yes" or "no" response. I said type "No" - she typed "No Return" then hit the return and couldn't figure out why the beast gave her a syntax error. It was all I could do to keep from laughing in her face. But I was forgiving and politely explained that I miscommunicated the instruction.
Does anyone know what the term "modem" stands for? No using search engines for the answer please. - Hint, it stands for exactly what it does.
Fiddlegirl - I'm glad to see that this is a fave line twice. Thanks.
TJC - What used to be called Baud Rate is now called Bandwidth. I had a modem once that was so old when I called tech support because it was not connecting the tech asked me if it was half or full duplex. Hell it said "simplex" - this gave the tech a complex. Thanks.
Timmy1k - They may have become more enhanced and sophisticated, but there still remains the same old bugs. Thanks.
Forsby - I remember when the human machine interface was called a terminal and the "enter" button was called the "return" key. Once I was giving instructions to a new operator on a mainframe when the system queued a question that needed a "yes" or "no" response. I said type "No" - she typed "No Return" then hit the return and couldn't figure out why the beast gave her a syntax error. It was all I could do to keep from laughing in her face. But I was forgiving and politely explained that I miscommunicated the instruction.
Does anyone know what the term "modem" stands for? No using search engines for the answer please. - Hint, it stands for exactly what it does.
It was funny once I got past the termilogy.
More hints on modem?
"Scuse me, while I give you Fives...funny one Guy.
Pat - I've used MAPI in parody before. One of the things that it is used for is to allow Outlook to communicate with MS Exchange. It's what it says - a messaging application. I only used it because it worked in the parody - OK another hint. modem is actually two words abbreviated and jammed into one. The words are opposites. So it's either that the first word starts with MOD or MO and the second word starts with DEM or EM. So it's either MO-DEM or MOD-EM. Thanks for commenting and playing the modem game.
A♥ Q♣ - Scuse me while I thank the fives. Thanks.
A♥ Q♣ - Scuse me while I thank the fives. Thanks.
You mowed 'em down with this one...
HAYESWIRE...dug it
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