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Song Parodies -> "The CBN 700 Club"

Original Song Title:

"The Castleford Ladies Magical Circle"

Original Performer:

Jake Thackray

Parody Song Title:

"The CBN 700 Club"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Jack "Red Ant" Fletcher suggested a parody about the 700 Club, a Christian Broadcast Network talk show named after the 700 people who paid $10 per month to finance Pat Robertson's first foray into broadcasting. Seeing as I'm joining amiright's "700 Club", in that this is my 700th parody, Jack thought this would be a good idea for a target.

The OS is the first Jake Thackray song to be parodied at amiright, but as it's a wonderfully witty look at Devil-worshippers, it seemed to me to be a perfect foil - lyrics are here; I was trying to have a recording done by now, but spent the time I had planned for recording mending the dishwasher.
The CBN 700-Club's paying tonight
For a pile of surreal bullshit calculated to incite
As Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more, equ'ly gruesome
Broadcast bigoted fundamentalist Christian shite

Railing against anyone Muslim or gay
Hypocrites earning televisual pay, wha-hey!
As Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more, with that twosome
Costing the seven hundred 65 cents per day

But they don't just pay for a "Praise the Lord", or a sermon now and again
No, it's a sour, 24-hour Pentecostal regimen
As Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more (probably usin')
Preach to the converted, Jesus Christ! Amen.

Their "science" is Intelligent Design
And any Israeli army jiggery-poke is utterly fine
That Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more, ooze- and schmoozin'
Pathetic'ly claim foreknowledge of the will divine

So whether it's God's own venge-yance for Ariel Sharon
Or fingering Hugo Chavez for assassina-shee-yon
That Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more (one called Susan?)
Warning all their viewers about Satan's spawn

So be careful what you watch on your telly tonight
If you hear a pious hypocrite passing wind, it very well might be
Prat Robertson (Pat!) or Terry Mee-u-sen
Or somebody with that gruesome twosome
Their words are mild and trite, they're really quite polite
Although hate they incite
Because the CBN 700-club... prays tonight

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - January 17, 2007 - Report this comment
700 = 5s
Tommy Turtle - January 17, 2007 - Report this comment
You've made a believer out of me! (in your parody, that is) Fives for your septuacentennial.
Jack Wilson - January 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Awesome! 5s
Red Ant - January 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Superb work, Phil. Joining the 700 club (here) while simultaneously thrashing the real 700 club is something that only you could pull off so well. I hope you find the time to record this. Congratulations on another first song/band submission too. Big 5s.
Yoidy - January 17, 2007 - Report this comment
When will these fundamentalists go away? Not as long as there's money to be made! Good parody 555
Phil Alexander - January 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, everybody. For people who don't know Jake Thackray's music, do have a listen - on that side of the pond, his "Best of" album is a steal at less than $7 -­8/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/105-7009631-5121249?ie=UTF8&s=music (however, that doesn't have this OS, so you'll have to buy "Jake in a Box" for a few pennies more if you want this one). Lyrically one of the best writers, ever.
Peter Andersson - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
I actually bought that album the last time you recommended it, when I wrote "Female Silence", and now you go and use a song that's not on it! If I had been Arwen I would surely pout real bad right now, but since I'm me I'll trust you on pacing and only give you this: :-P

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