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Song Parodies -> "The CBN 700 Club"
Original Song Title:
"The Castleford Ladies Magical Circle"
Original Performer:
Jake Thackray
Parody Song Title:
"The CBN 700 Club"
Parody Written by:
Phil Alexander
The Lyrics
Jack "Red Ant" Fletcher suggested a parody about the 700 Club, a Christian Broadcast Network talk show named after the 700 people who paid $10 per month to finance Pat Robertson's first foray into broadcasting. Seeing as I'm joining amiright's "700 Club", in that this is my 700th parody, Jack thought this would be a good idea for a target.
The OS is the first Jake Thackray song to be parodied at amiright, but as it's a wonderfully witty look at Devil-worshippers, it seemed to me to be a perfect foil - lyrics are here; I was trying to have a recording done by now, but spent the time I had planned for recording mending the dishwasher.
The OS is the first Jake Thackray song to be parodied at amiright, but as it's a wonderfully witty look at Devil-worshippers, it seemed to me to be a perfect foil - lyrics are here; I was trying to have a recording done by now, but spent the time I had planned for recording mending the dishwasher.
The CBN 700-Club's paying tonight
For a pile of surreal bullshit calculated to incite
As Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more, equ'ly gruesome
Broadcast bigoted fundamentalist Christian shite
Railing against anyone Muslim or gay
Hypocrites earning televisual pay, wha-hey!
As Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more, with that twosome
Costing the seven hundred 65 cents per day
But they don't just pay for a "Praise the Lord", or a sermon now and again
No, it's a sour, 24-hour Pentecostal regimen
As Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more (probably usin')
Preach to the converted, Jesus Christ! Amen.
Their "science" is Intelligent Design
And any Israeli army jiggery-poke is utterly fine
That Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more, ooze- and schmoozin'
Pathetic'ly claim foreknowledge of the will divine
So whether it's God's own venge-yance for Ariel Sharon
Or fingering Hugo Chavez for assassina-shee-yon
That Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more (one called Susan?)
Warning all their viewers about Satan's spawn
So be careful what you watch on your telly tonight
If you hear a pious hypocrite passing wind, it very well might be
Prat Robertson (Pat!) or Terry Mee-u-sen
Or somebody with that gruesome twosome
Their words are mild and trite, they're really quite polite
Although hate they incite
Because the CBN 700-club... prays tonight
For a pile of surreal bullshit calculated to incite
As Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more, equ'ly gruesome
Broadcast bigoted fundamentalist Christian shite
Railing against anyone Muslim or gay
Hypocrites earning televisual pay, wha-hey!
As Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more, with that twosome
Costing the seven hundred 65 cents per day
But they don't just pay for a "Praise the Lord", or a sermon now and again
No, it's a sour, 24-hour Pentecostal regimen
As Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more (probably usin')
Preach to the converted, Jesus Christ! Amen.
Their "science" is Intelligent Design
And any Israeli army jiggery-poke is utterly fine
That Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more, ooze- and schmoozin'
Pathetic'ly claim foreknowledge of the will divine
So whether it's God's own venge-yance for Ariel Sharon
Or fingering Hugo Chavez for assassina-shee-yon
That Pat Robertson (Prat!) and Terry Mee-u-sen
And three or four more (one called Susan?)
Warning all their viewers about Satan's spawn
So be careful what you watch on your telly tonight
If you hear a pious hypocrite passing wind, it very well might be
Prat Robertson (Pat!) or Terry Mee-u-sen
Or somebody with that gruesome twosome
Their words are mild and trite, they're really quite polite
Although hate they incite
Because the CBN 700-club... prays tonight
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 5 | 6 | 6 |
User Comments
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700 = 5s
You've made a believer out of me! (in your parody, that is) Fives for your septuacentennial.
Awesome! 5s
Superb work, Phil. Joining the 700 club (here) while simultaneously thrashing the real 700 club is something that only you could pull off so well. I hope you find the time to record this. Congratulations on another first song/band submission too. Big 5s.
When will these fundamentalists go away? Not as long as there's money to be made! Good parody 555
Thanks, everybody. For people who don't know Jake Thackray's music, do have a listen - on that side of the pond, his "Best of" album is a steal at less than $7 - www.amazon.com/Very-Best-Jake-Thackray/dp/B00008NV5K/sr=1-2/qid=1169103258/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/105-7009631-5121249?ie=UTF8&s=music (however, that doesn't have this OS, so you'll have to buy "Jake in a Box" for a few pennies more if you want this one). Lyrically one of the best writers, ever.
I actually bought that album the last time you recommended it, when I wrote "Female Silence", and now you go and use a song that's not on it! If I had been Arwen I would surely pout real bad right now, but since I'm me I'll trust you on pacing and only give you this: :-P
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