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Song Parodies -> "CBA (Contraception, Birth by unwed women, Abortion)"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Jackson 5

Parody Song Title:

"CBA (Contraception, Birth by unwed women, Abortion)"

Parody Written by:

Yolanda DeByle

The Lyrics

Adapted from the Hal Leonard arrangement, which differs a bit from the version on popular audio recordings.
Buh buh-buh buh buh-buh
Buh buh-buh buh buh-buh

You went to school to learn, girl
To avoid unwanted pregnancy.
But I ain't gonna tell you no sirree!
Only lecture chastity.
Now now now, I'm gonna teach you
(Teach you, teach you)
Lies about condoms
(Not effective)
Pill causes cancer, S T D's.
All you gotta do is believe lies like these.

Now just do What I say
Contraception's Not okay, You must stay, Chaste today.
Sex is mortal sin, girl!
Pay the price!
You know that It's not nice
I hope you get Public lice, More than twice, My advice:
Baby keep your clothes on!

If you are not married don't have Babies yet!
If you got a job then fired's what You will get!
Come a, come a, come on (Bas-tard)
Let me take away your safety net!
Not letting women off the hook
Is the heart of our misogyny.
But since we can't say something that repugnant
We play on people's sympathy, Hee-hee!
Teacher's gonna show you
(Show you, show you)
Mutilated babies!
(Tug at your emotion)
Bear your baby, Our work is done.
You're stuck with a kid now, This is how we have fun!

You must do What I say
Abortion is Not okay,
You shall pay, It must stay, Baby, in your bel-lay!
We don't care
Whether you Think it's fair
Shove our morals Down your throat
Just take note, We will vote, All your rights away, girl!

You should do What I say
Abortion and Birth control, Thwart our goal,
Like you stole, Consequence away, girl!
Don't have sex!
There are no Ill effects, But if you do, We want to, Punish you,
That's what we like Most to do
We won't wait till Judgment Day.
Can't trust God will Make you pay.
CBA, Girl you must pay!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.6
How Funny: 2.6
Overall Rating: 2.6

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   2

User Comments

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Jack - October 10, 2015 - Report this comment
The news about birth control and abortion isn't out yet and you blame the opponents for that?
Yolanda - October 10, 2015 - Report this comment
It's just a parody, Jack! I'm poking fun at the anti-abortion, anti-contraception crowd, who have been protesting for decades. That's not exactly news.
Observer - October 11, 2015 - Report this comment
OK parody, except that you yourself are providing a biased view that is also flawed. Condoms (including IUD, DD) are not one hundred percent effective, the pill can be dangerous to some women, and no young person should have sex unless they are prepared. Prepared as in educated, physically developed for sex, and morally and financially prepared for the consequences like baby or babies ( twins, etc). Abstain until marriage is not a bad thing if one is religious. Abstain until ready is also not bad a thing if one is secular. And an unwanted child is far better than abortion murder guilt. Having a baby isn't a woman's issue only, it's a humanity issue. Best argument against murder in the womb is a mirror. What if your own mom decided to murder you? Why is your life valued and not others? What if Einstein's mom or JFK's mom aborted? Perhaps we've already aborted the next peacemaker, the next great scientist, etc... Security Code is LF6 or LiFe 6 (the day man was created, male and female). Go forth and fill the earth was the first command. Be fruitful and multiply. Amen to that!
Yolanda - October 11, 2015 - Report this comment
Thanks, Observer. You're right that contraception is not 100% foolproof, but it's a heck of a lot more effective than doing nothing and crossing your fingers! Just ask Bristol Palin how effective that was. As for the "what if" scenarios, what if Hitler's mom, or Stalin's, or Osama bin Laden's mothers had decided to abort? Finally, as to "be fruitful and fill the earth", well, that's totally been accomplished already! The earth is filled; some would argue it's now overfilled. PS. The first command was Don't eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

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