Lin-a-Garden-Da-Vida, A'mare
Don't you know that I'm finding you
Lin-a-Garden-Da-Vida, A'mare
Don't you know that I'll always break through
Oh, won't you pick for me
And a roll the lane
Oh won't you dunk for me
Drive the crowd insane
Please, roll the lane

Lin-a-Garden-Da-Feedah, 'Melo
Don't you know that I'm dishing you
Lin-a-Garden-da-Feedah, 'Melo
Don't you know that it ain't about you
Oh won't you ball with me
And a fill the lane
Oh, don't you hog the ball
Just feed off my game
Please, fill the lane

(Cue all too brief 13 minute instrumental bridge, complete with 3 minute Jeremy Lin ball dribble solo)

Lin-a-Garden-Defeatah, Celtics
Don't you know we'll avenge you
Lin-a-Garden-Defeatah, Celtics
Don't you know that we're getting past you
Oh won't you play up on me
And I'll drive the lane
Oh won't you lay off me
And I'll drain the trey
Game winning Trey (Ay ay yay)

(If you thought the previous pun was bad ... Here's a tribute to Geogetown's shot blocking legend, Alonzo Mourning, sung to Cat Stevens' "Morning Has Broken" )

Mourning has broken
The Big East record
Most shot rejections
In a single career
Praise to John Thompson
Praise to the Hoyas
Jeers to the folly
Of the point guard

Swat the weak layup
Send it to cheap seats
Smacked like a squash ball
To start the game
Praise for the sweetness
Of the block party
Sprung from eliteness
Of Zo's long frame

Denied is the hook shot
Denied is the post up
Born of a bad choice
Send it away
Praise with ovation
Praise is a-bourning
Zo's abnegation
Of your set play

(I've long had a fascination for great NBA shotblockers and interestingly enough, some of the best come from Africa; with such melodic names, too -- Dikembe Mutombo, Hakeem Olajuwon, Manute Bol, Serge ibaka, and a newcomer, Bismak Biyombo. So this is a song about me and my wife trying to reconcile our differences over who is the best African shotblocker)

You say Mutombo, and I say Biyombo
I say Biyombo, and you say Mutombo
Mutombo, Biyombo; Biyombo, Mutombo
Let's call the whole thing off

Now you like Dikembe, and I like Manut-ay
I say Manut-ay, and you say Dikembe
Manut-ay, Dikembe; Dikembe, Manut-ay
Let's call the whole thing off

But oh, if we call the thing off, then we'll have to part
And if we have to part that'll break my heart

So if you choose Hakeem Ol' and I choose Manute Bol
Then I say Hakeem Ol' and diss on Manute Bol
Cause we know we need each other
So let's call the calling off off
Let's call the whole thing off

Now you think Ibaka, and I think Bismak-a
And I say Bismak-a, and you like Ibaka
Ibaka, Bismak-a; Bismak-a, Ibaka
Let's call the whole thing off

Now I want Hakeem Ol' and you say Hasheemo
You say Hasheemo, and I say you're nutso
Hakeem Ol', Hasheemo; Hasheemo, you're nutso
Let's call this dumb song off.