Song Parodies -> "I Cannot Win Debates, I Can't"

Original Song Title:

"I'm Henry The Eighth, I Am"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"I Cannot Win Debates, I Can't"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

As sung by Dubya, desperately outmatched in his first presidential debate with John Kerry on 09/30/04:

(instrumental intro)

I cannot win debates; I can't.
Cannot win debates; I can't, I can't.
I got buried by John Kerry 'bout war.
I can't parry his points, or keep score.

I must debate, though I cannot win (cannot win)...
And viewers think my war is just a scam (big scam)...
In debates, I stammer, cannot win...
Cannot win debates; I can't.

(Spoken:) Second verse... I get to curse!

I cannot win debates; I can't.
Cannot win debates; I can't, I can't.
I got buried by John Kerry 'bout war
I can't parry his points, or keep score.

I must debate, though I cannot win (cannot win)...
And viewers think my war is just a scam (big scam)...
In debates, I stammer; cannot win...
Cannot win debates; I can't.

(instrumental break)

I cannot win debates; I can't.
Cannot win debates; I can't, I can't.
I got buried by John Kerry 'bout war.
I can't parry his points, or keep score.

I must debate, though I cannot win (cannot win)...
And viewers think my war is just a scam (big scam)...
In debates, I stammer; cannot win...
Cannot win debates; I can't.

(Spoken:) Rove! Please! One more try!

Cannot win (cannot win)...
Cannot win (cannot win)...
Cannot win debates; I can't, I can't...
Cannot win debates, I can't.

(instrumental riff)

Nah!

Author's web site version with MIDI music

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