Mrs. Brown you've got a ugly goiter
Ones as big as that are somethin' rare
But it's sad, that it's so ugly now
It's just as clear as day, not something you can hide

Mrs. Brown, I've been dating your daughter
Is she gonna have one just the same?
Will she change? She isn't ugly now
I'd like to clear this up, or I can't make her mine

Walkin' about, even in a crowd, well
It sticks right out, makes me queasy somehow

If she finds that I've been round to see you (round to see you)
Tell her I just stopped to ask the time (ask the time)
Don't let on, don't say we spoke of it
Don't tell her goiters are one thing I can't abide

Walkin' about, even in a crowd, well
It sticks right out, makes me queasy somehow

If she finds that I've been round to see you (round to see you)
Tell her I just stopped to ask the time (ask the time)
Don't let on, don't say we spoke of it
'Cause if she's getting one I'm up for suicide

Mrs. Brown you've got a ugly goiter (ugly goiter)
Mrs. Brown you've got a ugly goiter (ugly goiter)
Mrs. Brown you've got a ugly goiter (ugly goiter)
Mrs. Brown you've got a ugly goiter (ugly goiter)