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Song Parodies -> "Bare"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Hair (Musical)

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

You ask me why I am a naked guy
I'm naked noon and night
Gives some a fright!
I'm naked, don't you know
I am not high--no, no!
I'm not sick in the head
And I was well-bred--darling

I walk around all bare, all beautifully bare
Walking, talking, eating--I been waxin'
I'm all bare, I don't care
Clothes are bunk, so long (bare!)
Hey baby, yo mama!
Everyone nudie, nudie

Bare! (bare, bare, bare, bare bare bare!)
Got it? Flaunt it!
Long as you don't taunt it, go bare!

Got a dream, we could be clothes-less society
Throw out all the penalties to be bare
I'm not a tease--no laughing please
Don't act like nerds or fat bastards
Lose your bow tie, your suspenders, underwear go

Bare! (bare, bare, bare, bare bare bare!)
Got it? Flaunt it!
Long as you don't taunt it, go bare!

Got bodies long, short, lanky, skinny
Chubby, bony, skanky, smelly
Oily, greasy, teensy-weensy
Flexing, stretching, ashen, flashin'!
Spotted, acne-dotted, wasted, seated, sated
Hairy, scary, and athletic
Robust, obese, knock-kneed and phlegmatic!

O say, can you see, my ass?
If you can't, it's just too cold!
Naked here, naked there
Do you dare show it fair?
Come undress yourself
Nude nude nude nude, nude-nude nude nude nude!

And now I got my mojo
It's time to do some yoga
My yoga on my mat, brilliantly typic'lly bare
I'm bare like Eve and Adam
In the fabled land of Eden
Hallejuah, I show off my bum
Why do they prosecute me?

Bare! (bare, bare, bare, bare bare bare!)
Got it? Flaunt it!
Long as you don't taunt it, go bare!
Copyright 2006, Agrimorfee. Bare today, gone tomorrow.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - April 28, 2006 - Report this comment
love the what you've done to it...very descriptive
Turtle Never Seen Without Shell - April 28, 2006 - Report this comment
So funny, I can't bare it... I saw the play way back when. Lots of great subs. I liked the whole adjective verse, esp. "spotted, acne-dotted" (lol clever) and "phlegmatic". That's why I don't care that much for nude beaches - there're no standards for admission! Take these bare, naked Fives. - TT
Agrimorfee - April 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks TT and Alvin!
Matthias - April 28, 2006 - Report this comment
I barely died laughing!!! 555's!!!!
Larry Hensley - April 28, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS, hilarious stuff, 555s
Agrimorfee - May 22, 2006 - Report this comment
tHANKs, mATT & laRRY!
Jack Wilson - November 26, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL love the OS,love this parody! 555!
Max Power - April 26, 2016 - Report this comment
I heard invisible clothes are in rage these days.
Matthias - April 28, 2016 - Report this comment
Nice switch up from being super hairy to being super hairless! Fun stuff!
bobpiecheese - April 28, 2016 - Report this comment
(ABC) "Got it? Flaunt it, long as you don't taunt it" is probably the most profound I have ever, and dare say will ever, read in a parody. This was hilarious and still surprisingly body-positive, major kudos there. 555!
Blaydeman - April 30, 2016 - Report this comment
(ABC) Yes, I love how you changed the theme, but still embodied the feeling and sentiment of the OS. I'm an actor and am a big fan of musicals and singing a parody of this was such a blast! Musicals are so much fun to sing, I'm surprised they don't get spoofed more often because they can lead to really strong material like this. I really loved this. It was the small stuff that really got me, like the "nude-nude-nude" part and the entire "long, short, lanky, skinny" stanza. I'm blown away, Aggy! 555
Abbott Skelding - May 01, 2016 - Report this comment
I agree that this spoof could have just as easily been a part of the original musical. Totally changed the topic, but matched the original tone...well done!

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