I was packin' down a burrito at the diner down the road
When along came some stomach cramps and I tried to hold my load
And I'm hopin it would pass but it just didn't subside
A tiny fart slipped past the gates and smelled like something just died
So I ran to the bathroom but someone put up a hand
He said "Closed for Repair" and my pants filled up with something unplanned

I've got diarrhea, man
I've got diarrhea, man
I ate my burger rare, man
Don't breath the nearby air, man
It's an E. Coli scare, man
I've got diarrhea


I've got the
Butt mud
Aztec
Two-step
Chunky sputter
Hot fudge
Butt sludge
Anal gravy
Brownie butter
Chocolate syrup
Butt-hole stew
Agent Brown
Liquid poo
Shilsul
Liquid fart
Muddy waters
Drippy doo
Shits
Spurts
Hershey squirts
Sphincter soup
Pissin' poop
Doo-doo mousse
Juice is loose

No excuse
I've got diarrhea, man
I've got diarrhea, man
I ate my burger rare, man
Don't breath the nearby air, man
It's an E. Coli scare, man
I've got diarrhea


I've got the
Fecal oil
Trots, runs
Soupy dookie
Molten turd
Drizzle dung
Wet shart
Backsplash
Cocoa curd
Anus spray
Anal leakage
Durchfall
Assplosion
Poop smoothie
Dung driblets
Corn chowder
Bowel motion
Shit
Shots
Spatter spots
Skid marks
Liquid fart
Chocolate art
Splash, plop

I can't stop
I've got diarrhea, man
I've got diarrhea, man
I ate my burger rare, man
Don't breath the nearby air, man
It's an E. Coli scare, man
I've got diarrhea

It's caused by
Infection
Too much fiber
Foodborne Illness
Allergy
Laxatives
Viruses
Bacteria
Dysentery
Cholera
Botulism
E. Coli
Salmonella
Bowel cancer
Crohn's Disease
Maldigestion
And Shigella
Hookworms
Tapeworms
Gastro-
enteritis
Olestra
IBS
Malabsorption
And Colitis
Hepatitis
Trichinosis
Diabetes
Herpes Virus
Chemo, surgery
Radiation therapy

Stress and anxiety!
I've got diarrhea, man
I've got diarrhea, man
I ate my burger rare, man
Don't breath the nearby air, man
It's an E. Coli scare, man
I've got diarrhea

I've got the
Bubble guts
Toilet spackle
Backdoor
Mudslide
Skoots, Skitters
Apple splatters
LP's
Somethin' died
Swamp dump
Overflow
Dookie loogie
Loose stool
Ass rain
Brown Sea
Fecal fountain
Doo doo pool
Steamin' screamin'
Chocolate cream
Bathroom batter
Nestle's Splat
Booty gravy
Trouser chili
Fudge surprise
Liquid scat
Liquid poo
Sick poo
Fountain doo
Slick shit
Drip shit
Slip shit
Quick shit

Give a shit?
I've got diarrhea, man
I've got diarrhea, man
I ate my burger rare, man
Don't breath the nearby air, man
It's an E. Coli scare, man
I've got diarrhea