Ladies and Gentlemen...
The President of the United States!
*"All the Ohioans...Doot, Doot, Doot..."*
You need jobs--Doot! Doot!
And I think Congress is gonna issue
Some rebate checks
Midwesterners!
At least ten years behind the times!

I know it's hard for people to learn common sense
once in their lifetime--

Midwesterners!
At least ten years behind the times!

And there's this guy from Minnesota he's fishin
At the Bellagio
A fat young girl from Indiana
Eats chocolate dipped banana
Her lower back has a tattoo
Thinks Britney Spears is not taboo

Midwesterners!
At least ten years behind the times!

"I dunno...sometimes I just get tired
Of ya honey--it's...ah..your
bouffant...hoop earrings..."

Midwesterners!
At least ten years behind the times!

"I hear the sound of marching feet...
down Las Vegas Boulevard to Circus Circus
...and there...a Pandora's box...
We are confronted with...a vast
Quantity of...Midwesterners.."
Take a day and walk around
Incompetence will astound
Go home and look in the mirror
You think we're singing
'Bout drinkin' beer

But you're Midwesterners
At least ten years
Behind the times

I once lived in Cincinnati
And all the girls looked so ratty
I'm sure that love Will never be
A product of Stupidity
A product of Stupidity
Midwest, Midwesterners--Mid-HA-HA-HA
Midwestern--You are--your Bud--mullets
--your nose--your arms--you suck--weather
--you are--conservative--your lutefisk--blah
--blah--blah--blah midwesterners
-Ketchup is not a vegetable
--kimchi is a vegetable; makes it O.K.
--Midwesterners--Midwesterners
--you dream about...pickup trucks...you eat
...you are...Ooo-Hoo-Hoo...
Backward thinking --Midwesterners-
Pee-Pee-Pee-Pee-Pee-Peep!