Song Parodies -> "Mordor, Mordor"

Original Song Title:

"New York, New York"

Original Performer:

"Mordor, Mordor"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

This is a little known fact, Ed, but back in the early Sixties Frank Sinatra was seriously considering producing a Lord of the Rings musical which was going to be called either "Questors 11" or "Pal Frodo", with Frank Sinatra in the role of Frodo. Regardless of the title, the following song was going to be the grand finale; sung just after Gollum, played by Peter Lawford, had fallen to his death into the lake of fire

(Mordor, Mordor, it's a helluva town -- the lava is up while the Tower is down
And the trolls are swallowed by a hole in the ground.
Mordor, Mordor -- it's a helluva TOWN! ... HIT IT!)*

Start massing the troops
I've slipped in today
I got past Shelob guarding it
Mordor, Mordor

These sulphurous fumes
They're plaguing my way
Right through the very heart of it
Mordor, Mordor

I want to sneak through a land where the
Eye never blinks
And toss that Ring of Evil
Into the drink

Those Hobbitown blues
Are burning away
I'm gonna put a final end to it
In old Mordor

If I can get to there
They'll thank me ev'rywhere
I'll make it through
Mordor, Mordor

I want to stagger through that wasteland
With nary a drink
And reach that Mountain of Doom
Fiery pit
Fought with a creep
Finger got bit

(Fanfare swells)

THOSE .. Ring questing blues
Are ... ROASTING AWAY!
I'm left with a bloody stump from it
In old MORDOR!

And you better believe it, Samwise
If we can just escape this lava lair
They'll sing odes to us ev'rywhere
We bested you
Mordor .. Mordo-o-or!

MORDO-O-O-O-O-R!!

*I saw a concert video of Sinatra ad-libbing "New York, New York, it's a helluva town" before starting in on the OS, so I thought I would do the same thing)

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Old Man Ribber - January 30, 2013 - Report this comment

Lennie - From the opening comments to the end, this is a Ring A Ding Ding humdinger! Dean Martin as Samwise? Sammy and Joey as Merry and Pippin? Shirley MacLaine as Arwen? Peter Falk's glass eye as Sauron? Ooops! That last one was Robin And The Seven Wraiths. ;D

Callmelennie - January 30, 2013 - Report this comment

And, hey, OMR -- instead of the Fellowship, they'd call themselves "The Ring Pack" (I kill myself)

AFW - January 30, 2013 - Report this comment

I'm sure this would be funnier, to me...if I was familiar with "The Lords"...but even so, I can appreciate a good spoof and idea...and you've, definitely captured Frank's spirit, here

Callmelennie - January 30, 2013 - Report this comment

How's about I just explain my most inspired sub, AFW? The only way Frodo could slip into Mordor undetected was through a secret pass that led into the den of a spider monster named Shelob -- hence, "I got past Shelob guarding it"

Glen S - February 01, 2013 - Report this comment

Very well done Lennie. I remember I almost tried doing this exact idea years ago, but then I saw someone before me had written: "NEW ORCS" to it, and immediately stopped. I'm glad you tackled it, and it's very good. Especially liked "Eye never blinks" stanza.

Arwen - May 03, 2013 - Report this comment

I'm wondering if I was listening to a different cut of the OS than you were working with, Lennie, because I stumbled on pacing several times... :( You know I love the sentiment here, though...pulled on my Hobbit loving heart strings!

Callmelennie - May 03, 2013 - Report this comment

Sinatra did have a few variations on this OS, Arwen. I strictly followed the pace of a performance that was on YouTube; even started with the same ad lib that he used

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