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Song Parodies -> "Guys And Hos"

Original Song Title:

"Guys And Dolls"

Original Performer:

Frank Sinatra

Parody Song Title:

"Guys And Hos"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Who's showin' off their moxie?
I'll tell ya' who's showin' off their moxie,
It's all of those 'Drive' around the corner', Johns
Who are after the loose and flippy girls..
Women sacrificing everything, in make up and dress to be foxy..
Also showin' off their moxie..

What's makin' the evenin' news?
I'll tell ya' what's makin' the evenin' news..
Story about a husband pickin' up some ho, Ruby
Spendin extra cash that could have bought his children shoes,
That's what's makin' the evenin' news..

What's happenin' all over?
I'll tell ya' what's happenin' all over
Guys ain't at home by their television sets,
They're roamin' around like old rover,
That's what's happenin' all over
Sex is the game that has nicked 'em
And they're out breathin' hard with the babes who tricked 'em.
Victim? (spoken) who knows?

When you spy a guy..with lipstick on his fly
You can bet that he's gettin' it from some ho
When you see a john cruisin' down in funtown
Chances are he's a hound, out huntin' a ho
To bounce him around..

When you spot a dude drivin' slow "Avenue'd"?
Stretchy necked, almost wrecked when the green said go
He's red hot, and he's horny,
Cyber steamy from watchin' porny
Every guy's out for pickin' him up some ho

When you catch a Joe peelin' off rolls of dough
Cash for sin, propositionin' to some chick
And that guy's eyes shine like the gleam on a Ford
It's for sure sexual lure is makin' him purr for urges adored

Loose are scores of lugs, eyeballin' jigglin' jugs
Keen eyed lookers for hot hookers who swing for dough
In New York, or in Newton
It's the pastime of prostitutin'
All those guys are out tootin' to snag a ho


It's the kingly sport, for which, cash won't run short
Bet your butts there all cuttin' it with their sluts
Checkin' heads and tails, yellow, brown, black or white
After somethin' to drink, their intention's to sink their power In pink on Saturday night..

Harrys, Bills, and Bobs, have big jobs to fulfill
High testosterone..that's just itchin' to glow
Call it heat, call it fever,
They're all after that famous Beaver
Nature's need for their handle to find some ho..
Some ho, some ho..
It's man's dream to be doin' it with some ho..

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   5

User Comments

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WarrenB - June 13, 2011 - Report this comment
This is smart and funny. And I think you should follow this up with a few other parodies from the musical. But be careful with how you arrange the rhymes in "Luck be a lady." Just sayin'.
AFW - June 14, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, Warren...(lol) I did.."Luck" and others over the years...
alvin - June 14, 2011 - Report this comment
great rhyming and pacing....this is an incredibly tough song and you did a great job
AFW - June 14, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, alvin...always good to have an old friend's vote and comment

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