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Song Parodies -> "Wide Ways"

Original Song Title:

"My Way"

Original Performer:

Frank Sinatra

Parody Song Title:

"Wide Ways"

Parody Written by:

Mark Scotti

The Lyrics

"I think it's about time you should start seriously considering salads!" (Tony Soprano to Bobby Baccalieri)

I split, my pants I fear;
So I now hide behind a curtain.
My wife, I said "Oh, dear..",
Please sew my seams, use thread that's certain.
I've grown a butt that's full.
It covers each and ev'ry walk way;
Make way, not hard to miss,
It's just my wide ways.

Veggies, I've ate a few;
My gas increased toxic invention.
I stopped, no more gasses flew.
Gained more weight, for your nose redemption.
I squashed my riding horse;
They found him flat right on the highway,
Butt's more, then Rex could lift,
He felt my wide ways.

Yes, many times, my pants' seams blew,
I'm starting to get King Kong's rear view.
Doors through our house, are sized for stout,
Widened up, when the wood blew out.
I fixed our halls, now like a mall;
To take my wide ways.

My end, no end in sight.
Please don't sit near; hip bumps are bruising.
My feet, have seen no light,
Walk the line sounds so confusing.
Buffet, I ate all that;
Desserts my way - my chair legs just pray,
"Please, try to hold me,
and support wide ways".

Allow for my can, I have a lot.
Please don't go near, you might get caught.
I hear a sound, what is that squeal?
Is that the cat, got butt kill feel.
My feet now show, I crushed my toes -
All from my wide ways!
Copyright 2009

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 5   18
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User Comments

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Patrick - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Times may be tough, but most of us still have enough (or too much) to eat. Great parody.
Andria - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Great job, Mark, and I have to say that I have a weight problem as well: I weigh 185 pounds and am only 5'7". Needless to say, I pop buttons with no intention of doing so from time to time. One question: Is the "Rex" you mention Rex Ungericht from this site?
Christie Marie M - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Busting out of my pants with this satire, Mark! I'm trying as hard as I could to control my appetite and to exercise every day so I don't have that problem about growing wide. I only lost 5 pounds last week. Now instead of rice, I pile my plate with salads. Me and my family are frequent rice eaters, due to our Filipino background and rice is high in carbs. This fellow must have gained not only 555 lbs, but 555 inches around the waist as well! LOL!!
Mark Scotti - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
A light salad and thanks to you, Patrick, Andria & Christie!!!
Timmy1000 - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Well done - a plaintive cry over food. This goes well with the Billy song today.
Mark Scotti - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Squeezing you thanks, Timmy!!
DJ Blaze - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
I would consider this a sequel to Clothes Size Rising, and this one's even better than it's predecessor! 555
metaphorsbwithu - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks for the wide ride! Funny without being mean-spirited. I don't get the "my feet now show" line but that might just be me.
Mark Scotti - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Sizing my thanks to you, DJ & meta!!!
AFW - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Fat is such a harsh word..wide is much better..well done
Mark Scotti - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Lighter thanks to you, AFW!!!
Fiddlegirl - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Ah, the inimitable Mark Scotti... LOL @ the poor flattened horse!
Gari J - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Poor Guy, one flatten horse and a gastric problem to salads. Here's 555'lbs of wide ways to you Mr M Scotti
Mark Scotti - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Flattering and flattening thanks to you, Fiddlegirl(poor Rex!), and to Gari J, happy salad night & thanks!!!
alvin - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
lol...especially liked the bit about the horse
Mark Scotti - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Splitting seams of thanks to you, alvin(good to see you back!) Did one of your favorite subjects the other day: http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/thepretenders14.shtml
Guy - August 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Mark - my only weight problem is that I can't... wait that is. Widening my vote to a 5 count.
Mark Scotti - August 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Ful'Filling" thanks to you, Guy!!!
Frank SinaTTra - August 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Didn't you know that my nickname was "The Thin Man"? .. they always pick on ya after yer gone.

Faves: "My end, no end in sight" and "feet, seen no light". Putting you on a 555-calorie diet.
Mark Scotti - August 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Those Turtles all have "High Hopes"! Shelling you many thanks, TT!!!
Silver Power - November 16, 2009 - Report this comment
A lot of weight related parodies for ABC W! My favorite line was 'Desserts my way - my chair legs just pray'. 555 magic weight loss pills for you.
Mark Scotti - November 16, 2009 - Report this comment
"Widening" my thanks to you, S.P.!!!
Matthias - November 19, 2009 - Report this comment
If I may quote myself: "I just flattened a scale with my fat ass"... This parody was large and in charge!
Mark Scotti - November 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Matthias!!
Agrimorfee - November 20, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) You played it big, and this was big on the laughs. I especially liked how you incorporated the OS words into new meanings in the first verse.
Mark Scotti - November 20, 2009 - Report this comment
"Big" thanks to you, Agri!!!
Stuart McArthur - November 25, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) very funny Mark - lots of funny grabs - and wow, you can request builders to build your house "sized for stout" over there! Obama has thought of everything! - 555
Mark Scotti - November 26, 2009 - Report this comment
Souty thanks to you, Stu!!!
bobpiecheese - November 29, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5-W) Some of the grammar was kinda clunky to me, but that's me, and I'm mad. DKTOS, but it was still funny to read. 555 tonnes is my estimate!
Mark Scotti - November 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, bobpie!!!
Leo Keough - November 30, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC5(W) I could say this was over the top, but I'd be more accurate saying it was side-splittingly funny!!!...555!!!
Mark Scotti - November 30, 2009 - Report this comment
"widening' my thanks to you, Leo!!!
Red Ant - December 01, 2009 - Report this comment
I hadn't heard TOS in ages. Your lyrics fit the built-up meter of it to a T. A triple T, or maybe triple 5s. Excellent work.
Below Average Dave - December 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Hmm. . .I don't know but it read kinda funny to me. . .still a fun idea to this song by Frankie, one of his many classics
Melanie Lee - December 01, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Hey! I resemble that remark! 555 lbs on a scale of 300!
Mark Scotti - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks to Red Ant. BAD & Melanie!!!

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