CNN and FOX are talking
The Gov from Carolina is missing
They said he’s writing, then said he’s hiking uh, whaaaa?

He was gone for seven whole days
He never said where he was going
And when they asked just one of his staff, they said, “ummmm?”

Ooh, but he wasn’t out hiking
No, he was using his passport
He took a flight from the country
Took a jaunt down to Buenos Aires *
To get some from his Latin squeeze

Yet another gov’nor’s failing
Some girl from Argentina he’s bonking
And when they caught him he cried, my apology
Here is my plea

-- guitar noodling while he talks about past adventures --

Ooh, he did ramble so strangely
‘Bout his love of Appalachia
And his kid's dinosaur bedsheets
Then he said that he left something out
He hasn’t been all that devout

MSNBC is talking
About his Argentinean sex fling
They say it killed his career, I guess we’ll see
Such tragedy
Infidelity
I’m sorry Jenny **