There ain't no point in whining, Phyllis...
This flick... features black-clad killers
And Bruce Willis...

Don't bang on about the plot
It don't matter; bad guys get shot!
And there's hotties in bikinis
Rock on! Rock on! Rock on!
That's what I want

Woo-hoo! woo-hoo!

You wanna see some film noir from France
Or a costume drama: guys in frilly pants
Well, tough luck... because it's me who's payin'
Yeah, tough luck... tonight we're Michael Bay-in'

Smart symbolism's really lost on me;
If there ain't some psycho on a murd'rin' spree
I get glum...then I'll eat all your popcorn
So, come on...hey, babe; at least it's not porn

Stompin'..(through the town)..chompin'..(knock stuff down)
Ain't Godzilla just great!

Don't bang on about the plot
Check it out! Killer Space Robots!
Watching James Bond drink martinis
That's fun! That's fun! That's fun!
Truffeau is not...

Don't wanna know 'bout Thelma or Louise
And those Winona films stink like italian cheese
What a crock...soul-searching, tears and vino
Such a crock...call Quentin Tarantino!

I'm sensitive! I bet you never knew
I wept when Arnie melted in T2
Hey, wassup?...You're b*tchin' and seat-squirmin'
Hey, wassup?...as Bruce beats up some German

Baybeee...(don't you go)...baybeee...(there's some mo')
Double feature today!

Don't bang on about the plot
Russell Crowe's in a chariot!
Though it may not be Fellini
It's fun! It's fun! It's fun!
Love Story's not

You've kept schtum about the plot
You'd rather watch Brad Pitt's rock hard bod
Or Ewan McGregor's weenie
Hang on! Hang on! Hang on!
Will Smith AIN'T "hot"!!

[*Stop drooling, Phyllis....it's unbecoming....*]