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Song Parodies -> "My Temple of Venus"
Original Song Title:
"Venus"
Original Performer:
Frankie Avalon/Shocking Blue/Jimmy Clanton
Parody Song Title:
"My Temple of Venus"
Parody Written by:
Lifeliver
The Lyrics
As I write, Novak Jovanovic and Andy Murray are duking it out for the 2013 Wimbledon title. Can the popular Scot overcome the formidable Serbian world no. 1 to become the first British player in 77 years to keep the title at home? By the time you read this we will know.
Sorry, but my mind's far away from centre court, with the greatest sister act in the history of sport, any sport, let alone tennis, though their glorious careers are starting to wind down these days: Venus and Serena Williams. I've played some competitive tennis, but these two magnificent athletes would crush me like an eggshell both on and off the court. What they don't know is they wouldn't enjoy doing it as much as I would enjoy having it done. But no harm in inviting them to try.
I've used three different pleas to the goddess of love, a triple whammy one short of a grand slam, but symbolic perhaps of our musical menage a trois. There are YouTube links to the original songs in the trivia section below.
AND ... in case someone fails to point it out, please note my admirable restraint and discretion in not using the obvious rhyme for Venus ...
Sorry, but my mind's far away from centre court, with the greatest sister act in the history of sport, any sport, let alone tennis, though their glorious careers are starting to wind down these days: Venus and Serena Williams. I've played some competitive tennis, but these two magnificent athletes would crush me like an eggshell both on and off the court. What they don't know is they wouldn't enjoy doing it as much as I would enjoy having it done. But no harm in inviting them to try.
I've used three different pleas to the goddess of love, a triple whammy one short of a grand slam, but symbolic perhaps of our musical menage a trois. There are YouTube links to the original songs in the trivia section below.
AND ... in case someone fails to point it out, please note my admirable restraint and discretion in not using the obvious rhyme for Venus ...
MY TEMPLE OF VENUS
1 VENUS (Frankie Avalon)
Hey Venus, oh Venus
Venus iams-Will
You are no little girl but me you thrill
A girl tree trunks for thighs, and thighs for arms
Yet feminine the charms of you
Venus limbs half-bare
An amazon with passing shots to spare
Can take the brightest stars of grand slam ties
Her serve could pulverize Steffie
Venus, goddess of love-game you are
Gently me swing I ask
In your strong arms I bask
Venus, if you knew
I feel the same about Serena too
I'd fire off all the volleys I can give
As long as you both shall live
Venus, goddess of grasscourt you are
Surely I lob my flask
My dropshot I won't mask
Venus, me and you
What, doubles? Young Serena can come too?
I'll give youse forty-love and game set match
Racket's strung, and I'm quite a catch
Hey Venus, Serena
Make sandwich 'tween two?
2 VENUS (Shocking Blue)
Cruise over her mountain tops
Surf-skiing on her dreadlocked mane
My Serena aced me for love
And Venus did the same
They've got it - those ladies, balls got hit
Well, I'm yours Venus
I'm your ballboy, court-for-hire
Well, I'm Serena's
I'm no liar, for both I squire!
Their rackets blazed like wild grassfire
Driving their opponents mad
Martina Hingis, foxed she was
'Out!' (triumphant doting dad)
Pow!
They've got it
My feeble load, shot it
Well, she's my Venus
My Serena, my desire
Serena, Venus
Fourhand backhand topspin fire
(Cue fastmotion footage of LL vainly chasing down balls all over court a la Benny Hill)
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
They've got it
Yeah, match point, they pot it
Well, I'm yours Venus
I got owned like turkey frier
Serena, Venus
Lovegame, now take me higher
3 VENUS IN BLUE JEANS (Jimmy Clanton)
Oh Venus, with your genes
Our tennis brats could never fail
They'd be serve-and-volley works of art
Tennis dynasty let's start
Serena's and my genes
Natural selection law
She's a very special agent too
Darwin's dream come true
They say there's seven top seeds in the world
For procreation I can't wait
There's more than seven top seeds in the world
For I am number eight
So Venus, take my genes
Serena's X, and Y from me
I aced my grandma game set love
So there's nothing wrong with me
Oh Venus and Serene's
Chromosomes are right for me
A race of champions we will spawn
And they'll bring luxury
1 VENUS (Frankie Avalon)
Hey Venus, oh Venus
Venus iams-Will
You are no little girl but me you thrill
A girl tree trunks for thighs, and thighs for arms
Yet feminine the charms of you
Venus limbs half-bare
An amazon with passing shots to spare
Can take the brightest stars of grand slam ties
Her serve could pulverize Steffie
Venus, goddess of love-game you are
Gently me swing I ask
In your strong arms I bask
Venus, if you knew
I feel the same about Serena too
I'd fire off all the volleys I can give
As long as you both shall live
Venus, goddess of grasscourt you are
Surely I lob my flask
My dropshot I won't mask
Venus, me and you
What, doubles? Young Serena can come too?
I'll give youse forty-love and game set match
Racket's strung, and I'm quite a catch
Hey Venus, Serena
Make sandwich 'tween two?
2 VENUS (Shocking Blue)
Cruise over her mountain tops
Surf-skiing on her dreadlocked mane
My Serena aced me for love
And Venus did the same
They've got it - those ladies, balls got hit
Well, I'm yours Venus
I'm your ballboy, court-for-hire
Well, I'm Serena's
I'm no liar, for both I squire!
Their rackets blazed like wild grassfire
Driving their opponents mad
Martina Hingis, foxed she was
'Out!' (triumphant doting dad)
Pow!
They've got it
My feeble load, shot it
Well, she's my Venus
My Serena, my desire
Serena, Venus
Fourhand backhand topspin fire
(Cue fastmotion footage of LL vainly chasing down balls all over court a la Benny Hill)
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
They've got it
Yeah, match point, they pot it
Well, I'm yours Venus
I got owned like turkey frier
Serena, Venus
Lovegame, now take me higher
3 VENUS IN BLUE JEANS (Jimmy Clanton)
Oh Venus, with your genes
Our tennis brats could never fail
They'd be serve-and-volley works of art
Tennis dynasty let's start
Serena's and my genes
Natural selection law
She's a very special agent too
Darwin's dream come true
They say there's seven top seeds in the world
For procreation I can't wait
There's more than seven top seeds in the world
For I am number eight
So Venus, take my genes
Serena's X, and Y from me
I aced my grandma game set love
So there's nothing wrong with me
Oh Venus and Serene's
Chromosomes are right for me
A race of champions we will spawn
And they'll bring luxury
OS Trivia
*'Venus' put diminutive 19-year-old Phillie native Frankie Avalon on the teen-idol map with his performance of this on Dick Clark's 'American Bandstand' in 1959. He reprised it as a cameo in the movie version of the hit musical 'Grease', in a fantasy sequence witnessed by a bug-eyed 'Frenchie'. Check it out on YouTube here.
* A different Venus was a surprise 1969 US no.1 for Dutch group Shocking Blue, fronted by striking Hungarian half-gypsy Mariska Veres. It's still the only Dutch pop single to achieve this feat. Girl-group Bananarama revived it in 1986 with the same spectacular chart result. A TV lipsync performance may be viewed here.
* A 1962 top-ten entry for Baton-Rouge boy Clanton, a worthy but lesser-known early sixties pop idol who preferred more down-home rockabilly and New Orleans fare. Listen to it here
*'Venus' put diminutive 19-year-old Phillie native Frankie Avalon on the teen-idol map with his performance of this on Dick Clark's 'American Bandstand' in 1959. He reprised it as a cameo in the movie version of the hit musical 'Grease', in a fantasy sequence witnessed by a bug-eyed 'Frenchie'. Check it out on YouTube here.
* A different Venus was a surprise 1969 US no.1 for Dutch group Shocking Blue, fronted by striking Hungarian half-gypsy Mariska Veres. It's still the only Dutch pop single to achieve this feat. Girl-group Bananarama revived it in 1986 with the same spectacular chart result. A TV lipsync performance may be viewed here.
* A 1962 top-ten entry for Baton-Rouge boy Clanton, a worthy but lesser-known early sixties pop idol who preferred more down-home rockabilly and New Orleans fare. Listen to it here
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User Comments
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LL, you made a cameo appearance the same day I did. Sorry, my favorite female tennis player is still Bobby Riggs. No sexual infatuation or chromosome mingling there. Your "feeble load"? OMG! But the possibility of your getting into the genes of either of the sisters is a double fault. Yet, I find your fantasy flawless. If you were allowing votes, you'd get all my fives. Congrats on Murray's win. What the hell, I'll do it for you: Venus, penis.
Cheers, Al. I got 5-bombed anyway. By all means vote, people, but a vote without a comment is meaningless to me.
My first serve went straight into the net. Djokovic not Jovanovic - doh! Apologies to any Slavic readers.
My first serve went straight into the net. Djokovic not Jovanovic - doh! Apologies to any Slavic readers.
Courting tennis players, I see. Can't fault you for that. Nice word play, and bonus points for the lovely "grand slam ties/pulverize".
Very much enjoying your writes on the the site.
Very much enjoying your writes on the the site.
Thanks Warren, appreciated. Feedback's what it's all about, and I try to give as much as take. Btw, you inspired one of my parodies a couple months back. You may not be interested, but don't know if you saw it, that's all. It's here:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeatles3248.shtml
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeatles3248.shtml
Clever use of three original songs to cover the same topic. I remember once listening to an evangelical radio station on shortwave. Some preacher was denouncing these young ladies for showing off their "underwear" in public while playing tennis. "God hates nudity"!, he thundered. I was going to ask him then why God made us nude, but he was in Ecuador and I was in Kansas. I like you parody concept, very well done.
'LL, very good job of explaining why love means nothing in tennis. You opine that the Williams sisters are the best sister act in sports. Are they the best sibling act? I would pick the football Manning brothers or the baseball Dimaggios, but the Williams sisters are close.
@ Patrick - thanks for stopping by. I believe the preachers have got the problem you mentioned 'covered'. We became ashamed of our bodies after eating the forbidden fruit. My take on it is if we forbade more fast foods and less fruit we might be less ashamed of our bodies, lol.
@ JJ - hmm, interesting point. Male sibling sports stars are much more common, just by weight of numbers. Problem is I don't know American domestic athletes. But there are plenty of examples in international cricket and Aussie Rules football, which are the sports I'm familiar with - I won't bore you by naming them. Thanks for comment.
@ JJ - hmm, interesting point. Male sibling sports stars are much more common, just by weight of numbers. Problem is I don't know American domestic athletes. But there are plenty of examples in international cricket and Aussie Rules football, which are the sports I'm familiar with - I won't bore you by naming them. Thanks for comment.
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