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Song Parodies -> "Tonight! (West Side Story Quintet)"

Original Song Title:

"To Life!"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Fiddler On The Roof

Parody Song Title:

"Tonight! (West Side Story Quintet)"

Parody Written by:

Leo Jay

The Lyrics

[Note: corrected version of previously posted parody...]

When Broadway Musicals Collide, Part I: West Side Story's 'Quintet' ("Tonight / Jets Are Gonna Have Their Way") reinvented to the tune of the showstopper from 'Fiddler on the Roof'...
[Maria]
TONIGHT's in sight, dear Tony!
I'm lonely... but won't be tonight!
ONE HAND, ONE HEART only will there be --
one soul for you and me --
Though we met just...
last night! Last night, dear Tony --
You've known me since only last night;
But at the DANCE AT THE GYM I knew,
"A BOY LIKE THAT's for you,"
Oh, it all felt so right!

A young Latino
by the name of Chino
wants to marry me, so
we must be discreet;
He thinks a white boy
isn't quite the right boy,
and another fight (oy!)
no one really needs!

A date! Can't wait, dear Tony!
Our date I'm awaiting tonight!
There is a time and a place for us --
no talk of race for us,
SOMEWHERE happy
*****
[Tony]
Tonight, tonight, Maria!
I'll see ya, Maria, tonight!
Yes, SOMETHING'S COMING, and I can't wait!
Yes, I FEEL PRETTY great --
Flying high as...
a kite tonight, Maria!
No rumble, no gun duels tonight!
I was and will always be a Jet
(to a degree), and yet
Jets are grounded tonight!

When you're a Jet, you
fight so you can get 'fueled
up', and you can bet, you
love it -- every bit;
But I'm reformed now --
fuzzy, sweet and warm now;
I don't fight no more now
that I've gone 'legit'

No sticks, no bricks, Maria!
No blades or grenades for tonight!
The slugging won't be too hard, I'll bet
How hurt can 'Nardo get
in a fistfight...
*****
[Anita]
Tonight, go fight, Bernardo!
Fight hard, oh Bernardo, tonight!
But careful, love, don't get black and blue --
I HAVE A LOVE-ly view
of your face in...
my mind. You'll find Anita,
your sweet senorita, won't bite.
(Though I will bite if you want me to --
tease you, and taunt you too!)
Please, Bernardo, tonight!

'Nardo, Anita's
panting and in heat, a
hot and spicy treat, a-
waiting your return;
After the fighting,
things will get exciting
for us, so tonight bring
energy to burn!

Hurry to me, Bernardo!
(No scars though, Bernardo, alright?)
I know that you know the time and place;
Come fill the empty space
in Anita
*****
[Jets]
The Jets are set to rumble
If 'Ricans are seekin' a fight!
Tony said 'fair fight', so we agreed,
but might we feel the need
for a rumble tonight?

[Sharks]
Alright, no rumble;
But Riff is a stiff if we fight!
Tony said 'mano a mano' -- COOL,
but we're no dancing fools,
we are ready to fight!

[Jets]
If things get ugly,
GEE, OFFICER KRUPKE,
you know we're fed up, we
love AMERICA...
Them Puerto Ricans,
with their Spanish speakin',
bit by bit, they creep in --
now they've crept too far!

Our turf is worth preserving --
a turf we'll preserve with our lives!
This is the land of the brave and free...

[Sharks]
We beg to disagree!

[Jets]
...fine -- let's rumble...

[Maria]
...please don't stumble...

[Tony]
...let's not grumble...

[Anita]
...come let's tumble...

[All]
TONIGHT!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
impressive job...5s plus
John Barry - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
What Alvin said.
Rick C - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Another three fives (oy)!
Kristof Robertson - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm impressed, Leo...I wouldn't even begin to attempt something this complex. Bravo! 555
Arwen - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
I love it when you do show tunes...
Johnny D - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
What John Barry said.
Johnny D - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Tool Life!
P. Pete - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Excellent.
Maria - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
this parody, this parody, was not just any parody...555!
2Eagle - April 16, 2005 - Report this comment
May God bless and keep Officer Krupke - far away from us!

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