Hey, Son, I don't know who the hell you think you are
But you've got a lot of nerve
To ask me to be your goddamn secretary
'Cause that's not how I spell "lurve"

Jump in the ocean!
Don't care about your stupid board, now
Just make sure you put gas in the Ford, now
Hope you have a good time
But not on my dime
Jump in the ocean

And then regarding that young woman from across the street
I think you're acting like a fool
I hate to be the one to have to tell you this
But it's not about the POOL

Jump in the ocean!
Gotta say, it's none of my beeswax
But she sure looks fine in Capri slacks
Thought I'd give you a clue:
She's coming on to you
Jump in the ocean

Last year you took that summer job
And all week long, I couldn't use my own car
Now you're at the beach, you little leech,
You just don't realize what a pain you are!

And if I look like a post office, that's your mistake
But anyway, thanks a bunch
So get the hell out of here--and just one more thing:
You can pack your own goddamn lunch

Jump in the ocean!
Can't believe you used up the bread, now
Stop at the market, that's what I said, now
This house is not the womb
I might just rent out your room
Jump in the ocean...