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Song Parodies -> "I'm Reviewing The State Of Pensions"

Original Song Title:

"I'm Reviewing The Situation"

Original Performer:

Fagin (From Oliver)

Parody Song Title:

"I'm Reviewing The State Of Pensions"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Timed (hopefully) to coincide with the release of the Turner report into state pensions.
A man's got to live, hasn't he?
The state's got to give -- possibly?
But 'cause we'er living longer, it's something we soon can't afford
I'm finding it hard to find something to reach an accord

I'm reviewing the state of pensions
'Cause a man can't be a worker all his life?
Though he starts with best of intentions
Won't save enough for both him and his wife.

Though his wife could go and earn as well
And save up in her turn as well
Yes, that would work out handily
But children have no family
They will not grow up properly
They'll start to run amokerly
....I think I'd better think it out again!

So, wife stays at home, anyway
'Till children are grown, anyway.
Then she too needs a pension and savings
And starting from now
So how to provide and to keep paying people
--So how?

I'm reviewing the state of pensions
And 'cause everybody's savings are too lax
Governmental interventions
Should be paid for by a higher rate of tax
But the rich will get annoyed at that
And try hard to avoid all that
We'll end up with the living poor
Inevitably giving more
While super-rich men sip their wine
In tax-avoiding Liechtenstein
....I think I'd better think it out again.

So what have I got -- no idea
What we can do isn't clear
To change demographics
So there are more young, and less old
Enforced immigration?
An idea not easily sold...

I'm reviewing the state of pensions
If you've a thought, I'd surely like to try it
Ze solutions, like the French 'uns
If we used 'em here we'd surely have a riot
Give Mail-readers coron'ries
Importing working foreign'ries
We'll tell the young it's fun in here
And so to work they'll come in here
I wonder if it is too late:
Convince the old to emigrate?
....I think I'd better think it out again.

Or work until you're seventy?
You're still in your prime...seventy.
When all's told you ain't old
And if you should work till you die
Reduces the level of money
You need to put by...

I'm reviewing the state of pensions
And to my review, I'll have to call a halt
'Cause the public don't pay attention
When the crisis comes, it's everybody's fault

Nobody wants to pay for me,
Or themselves either, honestly
They will not work excessively
Or save money sufficiently
The immigrant community
Might help, but there's no unity
There's no lead from the TUC
And Gordon Brown's anti, you see

....I think I'd better think it out again!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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John Jenkins - November 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Excellent parody and well timed, Phil. Many clever lines including tax-avoiding Liechtenstein and the rhyming of pensions and French 'uns. The OS was very humorous and has a lot of parody potential, so you might be starting the next AmIRight "Major General" trend.
Phil Alexander - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, JJ - given the (lack of) reaction to this one, I'd be surprised if it starts a Major-General-alike trend: doesn't look like that many people know the OS. Shame, really, as it is very good OS material (slightly more stretching than M-G, I think): I'd been thinking of doing one to this song for a while, and the pensions review seemed a perfect fit :-)
John Jenkins - March 08, 2006 - Report this comment
I re-read this parody and TOS while writing my parody to the same song, and I came away with more appreciation for both your parody and TOS. Of course, I understand why you did not enter this in a SOTM contest, but I consider it one of the ten best AmIRight parodies of 2005.
Phil Alexander - March 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Thank you, JJ. As it happens, I sang this one a capella at a recent political fundraiser: it went down pretty well.
John Jenkins - March 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Obviously, it was not practical for me to attend your performance. But, assuming it were practical, deciding whether to contribute to your liberal cause and hear you or not contribute and not hear you is a situation about which I would have had to think and think it out again :-)
Jim Thomas - February 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Not know this OS? Oliver is my second favorite musical of all time... right behind Man of la mancha. A stupendous parody, and a hilarious poem in it's own right. Ogden Nash would even chuckle I think. I'm using the OS to audition for The Rocky Horror Show in SE Wisconsin this very evening, and you've give me a great boost and a good laugh. Thanks! :o)
Phil Alexander - February 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Jim - and best of luck with the audition (if you're using this as your performance piece, that'd be for Riff Raff? or Dr Scott, perhaps?)

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