Out in L.A.
At the Playboy Mansion, bold and bad
There are smokin' babes, bikini clad
In The Grotto
And they splash and play
It's the famous pool you've heard about
Sometimes wearin' suits, sometimes without
In The Grotto

Cozy coves and hideaways
Wild fun nights, and dazzlin' days
Pleasure parties for the rich and the debonair
Here comes Hugh with pipe in hand
All Hollywood and tanned
Actor hunks who turn their heads
And judge a Hef-ty pair

It's quite a life
Not one of us average Joe's, who are plain and poor
Ever hope to hang with "The Girl's Next Door"
In The Grotto

But, we've got a wife
With a happy home and kids to love
And this could be the thing
That they're all dreamin' of
In The Grotto

With the fantasies they're livin'
They're never gonna' know
A need to dream, need to strive
Or the scheme, that keeps souls alive
..Sex blinds the eyes

Happiness is much more than a big stony pond
Or stuffed silicone on a dark rooted blonde
In The Grotto

That's an empty prize
When the Playboy Mansion's bold and bad
Really look at their values they'll be sad
In The Grotto..
It ain't paradise..