On Black Friday.
On an overcast November morn.
A money hungry man pushes with no scorn
For a cell phone
(For a cell phone)
And he nearly cries
For if there's one thing that gives him stress
It's having less than the latest IOS
For a Cell Phone
(For a Cell Phone)

Now people don't you understand
Your hardware makes you the man
Or you'll be a loser man one day
Now take a look at you and me
Our gadgets are the coolest you see
That's why I must have Iphone 10 that way

As the world turns
And a corporate drone with a big fat nose
Chats and texts his way through meals and movie shows
On a cell phone
(On a cell phone)
Whenever someone asks him to be less rude
It sends him into a horrible mood
On a cell phone
(On a cell phone)

The one day while on the road
He makes one fatal error
While texting with his buddy Biff
He drives his car right off a cliff
But the text goes through

When the cops show up to examine the wreck
Everything's been smashed to heck but his cell phone
(His cell phone)
And as to heaven he flies

Upon greeting St Peter at the gate
He asks him how long must he wait
For a cell phone
(For a cell phone)
As St Peter sighs
The man wonders why oh why
In heaven you don't get unlimited rates
On a cell phone
(On a cell phone)