Our top story on the evenin' news
Is a mixed-up tale quite dire
'Bout some real hungry vegans who ordered some chow
On the home delivery wire

But another pita eater put in a call
For beef, pork, liver wrapped like a ball
A crossed-up delivery, woe to all

Pita haunts vegans, pita haunts vegans

Meat-a-Rama Pita Pouch
Was the carnivore's special on that day
Both well-done and rare, or dripping gore
You couldn't miss the meat on that tray

And so, Bob's wife Delores opened up the box
And bit into 'bout half a pound of lox
Now she's in the ER goin' through detox

Pita haunts vegans, pita haunts vegans

Way across town a puzzled dude was flaggin'
And on sprouts and tofu gaggin'
Spewin' it down the drain
Meanwhile a vegan who was Bob's sister Meagan
Had a mouthful of beef and
Started to pass out
Run over by the gravy train

When Bob bit into that bun
The juice, it started to run
Till he swooned from the flavor of pork
And the chicken tasted
Had his poor mind so wasted
That he bit off half his spork

They hit the floor with a resounding thump
All of that meat put them in a slump
Now they've got a date with a stomach pump

Pita haunts vegans
Pita haunts vegans
Pita haunts vegans
Pita, pita, haunts vegans