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Song Parodies -> "Will You Groan Some Tonight"

Original Song Title:

"Are You Lonesome Tonight"

Original Performer:

Elvis Presley

Parody Song Title:

"Will You Groan Some Tonight"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

NOTE: I have taken the liberty of straying far off the pacing in the recitation part of this song...which was necessary due to theme content
You may groan some tonight,
At the words that I write
And be sorry you chose them to read
You might grimace a tad,
Say these are really bad,
Stupid, punny, and corny, indeed ?

You might give up and holler
"This stuff really stinks"
Or read on and snicker
As the next zinger links ?
They may batter your brain,
Put all good sense to shame,
Are you ready to groan some tonight?


About the old woman who lived in a shoe..
She should move into a Reebok, more modern and new..(Ohhhh)

If the wife of a president, was a lush, and kinda' shady,
Might not she be called. The Thirst Lady..? (Ewww)

Why was the host of the TV show, "Candid Camera"
So good at remembering his lines?
-Because an Allen Funt never forgets..(Ohhh Nooo! )

If Val Kilmer had married Tyne Daly..the day of their wedding,
February fourteenth or not, it would always be "Val and Tyne's" day...
(Oh Please!..somebody shoot him!!!)

Suppose singers, "Salt N' Peppa" had both married Tupac Shakur,
Wouldn't they have been known as "Salt N' Peppa" Shakur" ?
(Alright, that's it, make a noose!!!)

If Bea Arthur had hitched up to Sting, divorced, and then wed William Hurt, once more divorced, and married Trent Lott, she would have become "Bea Sting Hurt Lott"..(No jury will convict us!!!)

If Shelley Fabares had wed Bill Gaither, divorced and married Mohammed Atta, Again divorced, and said "I do" with Geraldo Rivera...she would have been..
"Shelley Gaither Atta Rivera" (Where's a gun when ya need one!!!)

Finally, if Tippi Hedren had married James Caan, Tom Ewell, John Lund, Bonnie Tyler, and Desmond Tutu, in that order, she'd be...
(Are you ready for this?) "Tippi Caan Ewell Lund Tyler Tutu"
(Ouch ! Ouch ! No more, we surrender !!!)

(Return to song)

Is your mind filled with pain,
Did you even remain,
If still here, did you groan some tonight?

If still here, did you groan some tonight?

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   17

User Comments

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alvin - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
the recitation was hilarious...thought this was gonna be about another kind of groaning at first
Michael Pacholek - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
I was also anticipating what Alvin was anticipating. And, AFW, the estates of Dan Rowan and Dick Martin would like a word with you. Then again, if Lady Sarah Ferguson (a.k.a. the Duchess of York) married Larry Bird, then divorced him and married Magic Johnson, she'd be Lady Bird Johnson.
Guy - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Farce - OK, I can give as well as I can take. Don't say you didn't ask for this:

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. BA-dump-dump

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy." Budda-bing!

I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high." Wah tisch -pa rump.

Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. Boing-yoing-yoing.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..." Wah-Wah

And finally about your parody title tweaking our already filthy minds

He: Well, he's "grown some"
She: Now she'll "groan some" per-ump-tump

Loved the PUNishment. I groan at them but I still find them funny. Ya done good here Farce.
2Eagle - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
I usally find plays on words precious and cutsy - poo, but this was quite clever. Now on to vanity license plates: Baryshnikov's license plate should read BLLTJK - ballet jock.
Stan Hall - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Outstanding, AFW. I love puns-- the more outrageous, the better-and love this parody. Head-singing it in Elvis's voice makes it even funnier. And the memory it evokes of Tim Kazerinski's lab-coated disease pun riffs on SNL is a huge bonus.
CooHerGrass - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir L''Air de Farce, " Lord of Zinger " this is great, delightful puns indeed, sir !
Ann Hammond - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
he he he
AFW - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, alvin, Michael,(good one), Guy, (Hey, a bunch of real good ones), 2eagle,d(good lic. plate idea), Stan, and Coo, and Ann
Johnny D - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
555 for you, you GENIUS!
Stuart McArthur - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
fantastic AFW although I can't get the Tippi one to work. In Australia, there's a radioman called John Laws and a footy player called Ty Zantuck. If John Laws had married Ty Zantuck's mother and had a child called Virginia Teresa, the child would be called......
yes, Virginia Teresa Zantuck Laws

AFW - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, Johnny D...and Stuart...About "'s kind of a stretch...for "Tippecanoe.and Tyler, too" And you've got a funny one, there..."Zantuck Laws" Lol..
MadameGetMo - November 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Just a note Sir, L'Air, Tippi & SeanConnery were tres sexie in that Thunder scene in the A. Hitchcock movie, MARNE, 1964
Below Average Dave - November 13, 2008 - Report this comment
Absolutely fantastic title. Don't see a lot of great Elvis parodies for some reason, excellent choice for TOS too.
AFW - November 13, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, again, Madame...Yeah, good flick...and thanks, Dave...yeah, there are some good parody pickins with Elvis songs..
PMS - November 17, 2008 - Report this comment
A comedian I know told me that a groan is as good as a laugh
Christie Marie M - November 17, 2008 - Report this comment
I love those punchlines in your song! This is classic! Loved the PUNchlines! You ought to be in Comedy Central because I see it as an excellent stand-up comedy type of music. Great show, AFW!! 555.
AFW - November 20, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, PMS, and Christie

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