Are you stoned some tonight
Are you messed up tonight
Does your hamburger fall down and roll
Did you goof Hasselhoff,
Tip too much at the trough
Are you sh**tfaced and out of control?.
Do you feel like you're spinning down there on the floor
Are you ready for rehab, you sure need some more
Are you losing life's game, are you feeling real shame
David H. are you stoned some tonight..

(Spoken)

I can see that you're stoned some tonight
You know when you were in that Knight Rider show
The car had the best part
And in BayWatch, Pam had you upstaged from the start
You were in "America's Got Talent".. a judge, by chance
You read your lines, not cleverly..sometimes you'd miss your cue
No singer, you..not that much range, voice a little strange
Your CD's didn't flow
Tall, with a stride..middle aging crazy
Recent years, the world forgot you
But, you kept on selling yourself lies
In your mind, you're still a hot you
Broadway stage, was tried..In "Jekyll And Hyde"
Critics gave no rave reviews
You're still an idol in your dreams
But, you're no icon in your shoes

A career kinda' rough
Lookin' back at your stuff,
You deserve to be stoned some tonight