Fixing and doping and sticking in sharp things
Scamming and scheming is the Russkies' art
Many years ago it did start
No rogue agents, it's a state-sponsored affair
They were very good at hiding, disguising, and cheating
Rarely did they play fair

They didn't play fair in their wins
It was all a Ruskie ruse
Why's there hair on the chins
Of burly women
Who like men are playing?
Fixing and a-doping

Much fixing and doping
Hey, are those chicks playing?
Manly they're seeming, 'cause chemical art
Is what set these athletes apart

The docs were really good at sneaking drugs in
After that they would start pokin' and fixin' and cheatin' with druggin'
Vein and glute sticks
And ramp up the crew to make big wins

But then some showed that they weren't fair, many wins
Raised a stink, a cry and hew
Russians snared and won't get in
To the Olympics

There'll be no Pyeongchang, it will not be open
To fixers and dopers now nixed for the playing
Scamming and scheming bit them in the arse
After pharmaceutical parse
Prior to Putin they were playing games fixed
Nothing's really new, holdovers from Union and state-sanctioned druggin'
Are Putin and his damnable crew
All still is fixed
Yet nothing's fixed