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Song Parodies -> "I Only Want A Neat Igloo"

Original Song Title:

"I Only Want To Be With You"

Original Performer:

Dusty Springfield

Parody Song Title:

"I Only Want A Neat Igloo"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

In today's episode of Iceland's "The Sveinn Springer Show" wives tell their husbands "Shape up or Kayak Out!" and now let's hear from our first wife Vigdis.......Original Song here

I DON'T know what it is that makes you such a slob
I only know I wish you had a nicer job
coz when you return from
collecting hides
you never hang your bearskin on the peg outside
I always ask you to!
I only want a neat igloo

It doesn't matter where you go when you harpoon
you always smell of polar bear or caribou
remember what happened, when you emptied
your thermos and the floor melted into the sea
you can't expect me to
maintain an incomplete igloo

You knelt
down on one knee
and asked me to become your wife
gee I wish you'd mentioned then
these aspects of igloo life
coz listen honey
I don't tell you what to do or what to wear
as long as you're harpooning honey, I dont care
coz those Japanese like
to pay big bucks
by all means keep on tossing harpseals in their trucks
it's not a huge issue...
I said I only want a neat igloo

You sometimes snarl at me
and tell me I should lighten up
You try cleansing the igloo of
all traces of harpseal pup
so listen honey
I don't really care that you're not romant-ic
As long as once a year we go to Reykjav-ic
coz me and the penguins
we get on well
I've even gotten used to that whale blubber smell
now all I ask of you
is help maintain a clean igloo
y'know it's NOT like...I want a new skidoo!
I only want a neat igloo

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 25

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   25

User Comments

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Matthias - September 06, 2007 - Report this comment
She sounds pretty resonable, I mean if she can deal with that whale blubber smell she's a keeper.
Claude Prez - September 06, 2007 - Report this comment
This is great
Michael Pacholek - September 06, 2007 - Report this comment
I was under the impression that one definition of "neat" is that it comes without ice.
Jack Wilson - September 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Then after this she appears on The Sveinn Springer Show again to whine about how a polar bear is her baby's daddy. Oh wait wrong Springer. 5s, awesome job
John Barry - September 06, 2007 - Report this comment
I'd say "great job" in Icelandic, but I don't know any, and I'm busy having my breakfast danish.
alvin - September 06, 2007 - Report this comment
AFW - September 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Very unique..don't recall seeing the eskimo theme used much before..excellent story, although, I was hopin' to see some reference to a nose rub
TJC - September 06, 2007 - Report this comment
I really enjoyed this one!... Especially loved your concept of melting one's floor out from under... Highly singable a major coup, too, for you, Stu!
Red Ant - September 07, 2007 - Report this comment
I read and voted a bit earlier, but ran out of time to comment. I saw this play out in my head: very descriptive work, Stu. Loved the gender switch and inspired title sub. I always want to sing parodies of this song to Hootie + the Blowfish's song of the same name - the first two verses scan amazing well to that... anyway, I'd leave you some fives, but "Vigdis" (lol) would probably complain about them not being neat enough. =)
Meriadoc - September 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Am I the only one laughing over the harpooned baby seal references? I guess I'm one sick puppy, but then so is Stu... Gotta root out that wildlife... ;-D
stuart mcarthur - September 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Matthias, I know! - and that's "next morning" whale blubber smell too, what's more, still coagulating in the frypan from having saute-d baby seal fillets the night before - "keeper"s not the half of it...thanks mate :-)

thanks Claude - an honour getting a visit from you

brilliant, MP!

LOL, Jack! - wow, what a cool set of comments...

oh, so you say this is something you don't know, JAB? then it's definitely "sigminnsvnendis occupatis" - thanks ;-)

thanks alvin...thanks AFW - I would have put "nose rub" in if I'd thought of it - and yeah eskimos are sadly under-represented at this site - which makes no sense, because they're just so funny

thanks TJC - after I submitted it I thought, uh oh, does everyone know what a thermos is?

thanks for picking up on my Vigdis, Jack - lol (proud of that)

I'm glad you inserted "out" into that last sentence of yours Merry - thanks fellow sick puppy :-)
Phil Alexander - September 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Dusty Springfield did this OS? Learn something new every day. Anyway, a remarkably funny parody about something you'd not normally think about. Do you get polar bear/caribou in Iceland?
Peregrin - September 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Great from start to finish. Loved the combo of romant-ic/Reykjav-ic :)
stuart mcarthur - September 07, 2007 - Report this comment
thanks Phil - actually I was expecting the tougher question about igloos in Iceland - the defiant answer to both being "OF COURSE YOU DO!!!" ;-)

thanks Pippin - ah yes, those great romantic cities for lovers: Vienna, Paris, Venice, Reykjavic....
Peter Andersson - September 08, 2007 - Report this comment
To pick up on John Barry's comment I'll add that it's not very hard to imitate Icelandic, just add the suffix "ur" to each or every other word, like this "Sergeantur Peppur's lonely heartur clubbur bandur". :-)
Johnny D - October 06, 2007 - Report this comment
555. Pure genius.
Agrimorfee - October 11, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) My favorite couplet: "romantic/Reykjavik"... :)
Matthias - October 14, 2007 - Report this comment
This is one darn cool parody. So cool it's frozen.
Max Power - October 21, 2007 - Report this comment
That was cool.
McKludge - October 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) - The hole in the igloo would just make it easier to clean. Just sweep all the dirt into the hole. Better than under a rug.
Tommy Turtle, Not Harpseal, Thank Goodness - October 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Of course TOS was bi Dusty (lol), and love it... OK, I'll ask the toughies: ... 1) Isn't Iceland's climate rather moderated by the ocean (sort of a "Spring field"), and hence, uh, igloos more popular in "Canada's Central Arctic and Greenlands Thule"? ... 2) Isn't it the women who smell like whale blubber, or am I confusing that with the well-known "Tuna Taco"?

Fantastic title switch and a great Caribou, Stew. Know that I Caribou-t you a lot, Mate. Fives, of course. :)
bobpiecheese - October 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Pardon the bad pun, but that was cool. Cooler than Samuel L. Jackson in a block of ice. That kind of cool.
Jason - October 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This is brilliant. I wish i thought of this!
Below Average Dave ( - October 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) So, I'm not the only one with penguins in this month's contest eh. . .my favorite line(s) were "remember what happened, when you emptied your thermos and the floor melted into the sea " I mean, that painted a funny image, the idea that the house could melt. . .your penguins would probably be converted by my terrorists though:) Awesome parody.
Mikey Squirrel - October 31, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM- It's always fun to see parody topics about things you'd never expect to hear about. Very funny and well done, Stu.
Jeff Reuben - March 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Very original, won't get the cold shoulder for this one. I'm sorry I missed this one the first time around as well.
littleICEcakes - April 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir Stuart, General McArthur, this is simply grand! The images are sooo cute! and IceLand is one country on my list to see. . .
Silver Power - June 10, 2009 - Report this comment
This parody was hilarious! 3rd paragraph was my favorite... 555!
Timmy1000 - June 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Parody and story line go really well with the OS. Nice job on a classic.
Abbott Skelding - June 15, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC: Very nice, I had to look up the original song, but that was really funny and creative.
Guy - June 20, 2009 - Report this comment

Stu - were the penguins reffed in this parody of the "Fridge" variety? I know TOS very well and this one kept me ig-glued" to my seat reading it. Well done parody to a great oldie of an OS.
Max Power - June 22, 2009 - Report this comment
See above
bobpiecheese - June 25, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5I) See above (boy, that was a while ago).
Leo Keough - June 25, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Ah, the problems of maintaining marital bliss, applied in a most original way!...Great job!!!...555!!!
Below Average Dave - June 25, 2009 - Report this comment
I obviously remember this one, it was the second place song the month of my first SOTM podium (the third place Antarctican Terrorist), my opinion hasn't really changed. . .
Red Ant - June 25, 2009 - Report this comment
I remember this one well: the month where all cold related parodies swept the podium. Even in the dead of summer (here), this parody is still cool.
Matthias - June 25, 2009 - Report this comment
This is a Stuart classic with a fantastic title sub and an even better idea behind the entire song! A husband and wife conflict in the Sub-Arctic region is a fantastic follow through!
Jeff Reuben - June 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Still good...see above!
Invisible Boy - June 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Ahh Stu...we're both treating our poor wives like crap in this round
This is over-the-top classic Stu.
And, I bet you had that "romant-ic/Reykjav-ic" gag written in the margin and as you wrote you just couldn't wait to see where it would land.

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