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Song Parodies -> "Arcana"

Original Song Title:

"Atlantis"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Donovan

Parody Song Title:

"Arcana"

Parody Written by:

Donna VanLeitch

The Lyrics

Donna vs Teddy: The Musical
Act I Scene 1
Donna opens with a display of her knowledge about Tarot cards

Note: Unbracketed text is spoken, while bracketed lines are sung.
The continent known as Europe began using
card decks before the Tarot.
Shortly thereafter, Tarot cards for divining futures
in decks of varying designs
came into widespread use.

A popular design,
the Rider-Waite deck,
is a choice cartomancers employ
as they forecast future fates.

This design
to divine
occult knowledge
consists of seventy-eight cards.

Minor arcana are the lesser secrets,
Major arcana, the greater.
The seventy-eight Ryder-Waite cards come in two types:

Minor suits divide into swords, wands, pentacles and cups.
Cards are King, Queen, Knight and Page
and
the ten numbered cards.

Majors are trumps.
Arcana are divined from the pictures on the cards,
in all, twenty-two:

The Hermit, The Emperor, The Empress, The Chariot,
The Magician, The High Priestess, Temperance, Wheel of Fortune,
Justice, The World,
The Hierophant, The Lovers, Judgement, The Hanged Man,
The Tower, Strength, Death, The Moon, The Sun,
The Star,
The Devil, The Fool.

[Veiled arcana!]

[Lay down, behold The Empress, hair is topped by stars, see the shield]
[Lay down, behold Magician, shares potential with one who seeks]
[Lay down, behold The World card, stare at breasts exposed and green wreath]

[Lay down, behold High Priestess, where palm fronds do veil mystery]
[Lay down, behold The Moon card, where a wolf and dog howl with glee]

[Lay down, behold The Lovers, bare, these two who stand by a tree]
The Garden of Eden's there, baby, oh yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Behind's the tree where they stray
This Garden of Eden pair, baby, oh yeah
They leave disturbed

[Lay down, behold The Star card, bare, beneath a star, woman kneels]
She's holding two jugs of clay, baby, oh yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Water she pours isn't sprayed

[Lay down, The Tower trump card, pair of men do fall, neither tweets]

[Lay down, behold The Devil, scares those captured by luxury]
A naked pair locked in chains, baby
Something tells me they've done wrong
A haunting demon's displayed
Looks strong, looks on, baby

[Lay down, behold the Judgment, there dead folks are called from the sea]
Some nude people, arms are raised, baby
Seeking help from angel yon
I can tell it's Judgment Day

[Lay down, behold The Fool card, paired with dog on cliff, man might leap]

[Lay down, behold The Hanged Man, there hangs upside down from a tree]
A nimbus around his pate, baby
Not beheld as martyrdom
I think it means he's a saint

[Lay down, the Wheel of Fortune, where all letters shown look like Greek]
No Vanna or Pat displayed, baby
Something tells me this is wrong
I want to see someone play
Make bucks, make bucks, make bucks, make bucks, oh yeah

[Lay down, behold the Death card, there Grim Reaper rides on his steed]
Oh, smug thug, frown frown, yeah
For people, the end of days, baby, oh yeah yeah yeah yeah

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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 5   3
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Duc4AmIRight - March 20, 2023 - Report this comment
Not bad.
CML - March 21, 2023 - Report this comment
Never understand what tarot was about .. That is, until it was explicated to me via the instrumentality of song parody. Now it all makes sense.

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